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silence7@slrpnk.net to Technology@lemmy.worldEnglish · 13 hours ago

It Took Many Years And Billions Of Dollars, But Microsoft Finally Invented A Calculator That Is Wrong Sometimes

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It Took Many Years And Billions Of Dollars, But Microsoft Finally Invented A Calculator That Is Wrong Sometimes

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silence7@slrpnk.net to Technology@lemmy.worldEnglish · 13 hours ago
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It Took Many Years And Billions Of Dollars, But Microsoft Finally Invented A Calculator That Is Wrong Sometimes | Defector
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It’s not AI winter just yet, though there is a distinct chill in the air. Meta is shaking up and downsizing its artificial intelligence division. A new report out of MIT finds that 95 percent of companies’ generative AI programs have failed to earn any profit whatsoever. Tech stocks tanked Tuesday, regarding broader fears that […]
  • OrteilGenou@lemmy.world
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    12 hours ago

    Microsoft announces new Chief Accuracy Officer, Jack Handey

    Mr. Handey has released a statement:

    Instead of having “answers” on a math test, they should just call them “impressions,” and if you got a different “impression,” so what, can’t we all be brothers?

    • JackHandy@lemmynsfw.com
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      5 hours ago

      Everyone would be a lot happier, that’s all I’m saying.

    • dogslayeggs@lemmy.world
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      12 hours ago

      "If you ever fall off the Sears Tower, just go real limp, because maybe you’ll look like a dummy and people will try to catch you because, hey, free dummy.”

      • some_guy@lemmy.sdf.org
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        11 hours ago

        “If trees could scream, would we be so cavalier about cutting them down? We might, if they screamed all the time, for no good reason.”

        -Jack Handy

        • tetris11@lemmy.ml
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          11 hours ago

          That’s a brilliant quote

          • dylanmorgan@slrpnk.net
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            10 hours ago

            Jack Handey was an SNL writer, “Deep Thoughts” was a series of one-liners that aired between sketches in the early 90s.

            • QuoVadisHomines@sh.itjust.works
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              10 hours ago

              Loved finding out he was a real person and was a legendary writer.

              • snooggums@lemmy.world
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                Oh shit, I always thought it was a fictional name that the writers used for the random stuff that come up during the writing process. Didn’t know it was a real person!

                Holy shit, he created Toonces!

                Handey is also credited with creating Toonces the Driving Cat, the cat who could drive a car, although not very well.

                • masterofn001@lemmy.ca
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                  8 hours ago

                  This has completely changed everything I ever held dear and holy.

                  I always thought handy was a Hartman character and was him reading.

                  To find out it was neither Hartman’s character nor his voice is … everything was a lie.

                  • snooggums@lemmy.world
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                    6 hours ago

                    Hartman did the intro.

    • ohshit604@sh.itjust.works
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      10 hours ago

      Ah yes Mr Engineer my impression of this structural assembly is it’s okay but could be really better over there. No need for a second impression.

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