The more I hear people talk about it who aren’t cis-het men, the more I hear criticism about the concept. But so far, I’ve only heard people say that it’s stupid, that it’s not a thing, that it’s men’s own fault etc. But I’ve yet to understand where that criticism comes from. I don’t want to start a discussion on whether or not it’s real or not. I just want to understand where the critics are coming from.
though a sizable amount of feminists instead characterize men as also victims of the patriarchy, a system they didn’t choose to be part of
I can’t say I’ve encountered that. I don’t doubt there are reasonable feminists out there but the ones I’ve encountered have been the “all men are trash” type.
You might not be identifying reasonable feminists then, because the “men are trash” ones are more visible. You’re probably surrounded by feminists and encountering them all the time, but unless you’re asking them their stance about reproductive rights or equality in parental leave or something else in conversation you wouldn’t know it.
In feminist scholarship it tends more towards the “we are all victims of patriarchy” stance. Most my friends are academics so they tend to lean the same direction, though not always.
On the flip side, I have never encountered this, and would probably say that roughly 95% of the people I know and interact with are feminists.