The more I hear people talk about it who aren’t cis-het men, the more I hear criticism about the concept. But so far, I’ve only heard people say that it’s stupid, that it’s not a thing, that it’s men’s own fault etc. But I’ve yet to understand where that criticism comes from. I don’t want to start a discussion on whether or not it’s real or not. I just want to understand where the critics are coming from.
Gay dude here, it seems to be. We have the loneliness epidemic here too, but we’re actually organizing and fighting it, because we’re used to do that. Our cishet counterparts are definitely not equipped to do that. Women are socalized much earlier than boys, and they’re taught that the social order is theirs for keeping. Girls are simply raised to be better at this. By the time men realize what’s happened with the natural funneling of friends through the parenting years - usually those late 20s and early 30s where it suddenly starts to become really difficult to overcome the friendship hump.
I can’t comment on the whole incels taking hold of this concept, because it’s something I’ve just had explained to me in the past week. I can definitely see the gender/sexuality lines on this in real life tho (I started and run a nonprofit to create community for GBT+ men in my state).