or to keep the peace, maybe you think it’s not a big deal but your partner, friend, coworker, parent feels otherwise.

Do you apologize just to validate him?

I always though if I don’t feel bad about it, fuck it, I’m not apologizing, deal with it. It’s not my fault you’re so thin skinned. Grow up.

Now I’m thinking I should be more empathetic and apologize, just to make the aggravated person feel validated, even though I don’t feel bad (or that bad).

This gets more complicated because many times coworkers feel offended because I don’t share my personal life with them or I’m so concentrated on my job that I don’t notice them. Do I apologize for not noticing them?

    • sopularity_fax@sopuli.xyz
      2·
      2 days ago

      I was sort of getting at that. The tricky part is people will almost never treat you better than 1. You treat and present yourself and 2. How you assert you are to be treated by them (that order is descending in terms of importance). Few people will treat you better than you treat yourself in a way and it sort of makes sense given our evolution and development of social groups.

      You can start small tho. Try to not say sorry for anything thats not an actual sorry-worthy accident or mistake for a day. Thats it.

      Check your posture by watching a youtube video and near a mirror if you can. You wanna stand tall, shoulders back, head and eyes level i think, make sure you keep your hips/torso level too, a lot of people do that silly thing where they stand at a weird angle jutting out the abdomen so they look taller or skinnier or something but its not great for your body or how you come across. Make sure to bath or shower at least once a day, twice if you can get away with it right before bedtime so it helps you get to and better sleep

      When you are clean, good posture, onlynsaying sorry when its genuinely reasonable and limiting it otherwise, working on feeling you deserve and command the space you need to accomodate your presence and contribution, it will be easier for everyone and yourself to have respect and uphold your dignity without you even needing to say a word

      Its just expected and commanded in a non-threatening but palpable way