Please view this series of ads to retrieve your funds. Alternatively, you can retrieve your funds now for a $4.95 fee.
*this fee fluctuates based on several factors including but not limited to: the time of day, the number of detected people in line behind you, your estimated pulse, if you have overdrawn your account in the past [DECADE], if you are a cheap motherfucker on our lowest-fee plan, if the system detects that you are a pushover little bitch, if your credit score is less than 800, the amount of advertisements we detect you block from our servers, and more. Resistance is futile.
Please view this series of ads to retrieve your funds. Alternatively, you can retrieve your funds now for a $4.95 fee.
*this fee fluctuates based on several factors including but not limited to: the time of day, the number of detected people in line behind you, your estimated pulse, if you have overdrawn your account in the past [DECADE], if you are a cheap motherfucker on our lowest-fee plan, if the system detects that you are a pushover little bitch, if your credit score is less than 800, the amount of advertisements we detect you block from our servers, and more. Resistance is futile.