Howdy partners. I just won the cheeseburger eating competition and boy howdy, you can the wrappers reach to the end of my boots that I wear everyday. Time to slurp me this here biscuits with gravy while driving my pick-up truck to the dollar store to buy more biscuits with gravy with my Benjamins.
Cowabunga partners. Yeehaw!
I’d hate to live in one of those authoritarian countries. They have so much propaganda they have no idea what’s going on in the real world! Now shut up, I’m missing the national anthem (better stand or you’re a dirty traitor) and F-35 flyover before the football game. After that, I’ll eat some Doritos® Real American Cool Ranch™ and play Call of Duty®: Modern Warfare 14 where I’ll be saving the world from the evil country as an American soldier. GOD BLESS THE TROOPS AND THE FLAG!