I am probably quite agender, as I have no intrinsic sense of my gender. I simply accepted my AGAB (assigned gender at birth) without questioning it. At some point, I realized that I don’t feel any connection to this gender, no feeling like other people have. I also don’t see it as something that influences my personality and I don’t apply to gender norms. I just don’t care about gender. (This btw. also makes it harder for me to understand people whose sense of gender is so strong that they even reject their AGAB, although I accept their feeling, of course.) So how do you “feel” gender?
My take on this is pretty simple, and manages to alienate tradwifes and transbians alike: gender is a social construct, and like most social constructs worth freeing yourself from. “Assigned” is a key word here, no one is born with an inherent gender to be right or wrong. Sex is a separate concept entirely, currently immutable and relevant only in the context of reproduction. Conflating the two is an immense source of confusion. Being the best you you can be (and defining what that means) is a lifelong process with no shortcuts or easy answers. Allowing a false dichotomy between hard tough exploiter and soft pretty resource to shape your very sense of self is a tragic waste of the miracle of experience. That perspective is useful only to this sick society’s goal of total extraction, not our human need to love and be loved