To this day, she remembers the racing thoughts, the instant nausea, the hairs prickling up on her legs, the sweaty palms. She had shared a photograph of herself in her underwear with a boy she trusted and, very soon, it had been sent around the school and across her small home town, Aberystwyth, Wales. She became a local celebrity for all the wrong reasons. Younger kids would approach her laughing and ask for a hug. Members of the men’s football team saw it – and one showed someone who knew Davies’s nan, so that’s how her family found out.
Her book, No One Wants to See Your D*ck, takes a deep dive into the negatives. It covers Davies’s experiences in the digital world – that includes cyberflashing such as all those unsolicited dick pics – as well as the widespread use of her images on pornography sites, escort services, dating apps, sex chats (“Ready for Rape? Role play now!” with her picture alongside it). However, the book also shines a light on the dark online men’s spaces, what they’re saying, the “games” they’re playing. “I wanted to show the reality of what men are doing,” says Davies. “People will say: ‘It’s not all men’ and no, it isn’t, but it also isn’t a small number of weirdos on the dark web in their mum’s basements. These are forums with millions of members on mainstream sites such as Reddit, Discord and 4chan. These are men writing about their wives, their mums, their mate’s daughter, exchanging images, sharing women’s names, socials and contact details, and no one – not one man – is calling them out. They’re patting each other on the back.”
Yeah how dare she get her personal photos spread across the internet and get sexually harassed!
This is the most incel take and just kind of proves her point
You’d have a point if she didn’t willingly give the pictures up to the shitty male that shared them.
You either didn’t read the article or have a definition of consent that honestly worries me:
But honestly that is somewhat besides the point. Even if she would have made the photos without any outside pressure and full consent that does not give anyone the right to distribute them against her wishes.
If I go to the bank and put my money into my a savings account I am not to blame if they turn around, use it to gamble and lose it all. I never agreed for them to use it in such a fashion even though I agreed for them to use it and it is not something I should have to expect from a bank.
You’re right, it doesn’t give them the right. Did you think I was implying that it did? You might want to brush up on your reading comprehension if that’s the case.
And you would have a point if the man was an openly shitty person. For all you knew this was an otherwise respectable dude who still shared nudes of his partner. You can’t always tell shitty dudes ahead of time. Sometimes you can only know them when they are being shitty dudes.
Instead, you don’t have a point, you’re just looking to blame the victim.
He doesn’t even have to be ‘openly shitty.’ He just has to be ‘average’ or ‘typical’ and that should be enough to set off alarm bells because the current dating landscape rewards shitty males while punishing good ones.
It’s a cultural problem. I’m not going to give the average male the benefit of the doubt because most average males I’ve come across in my life fall into the category of ‘shitbag womanizer.’
We need to stop enabling them and start educating people on how to make better decisions on who they associate with.
And also start educating the average, shitbag womanizer males to not be that. We could teach them to be normal.
We shouldn’t expect bad people to do the right thing because otherwise they wouldn’t be bad people. Do you honestly believe this person didn’t know what he was doing when he did it? Of course he did, he just didn’t care.
I know you like living in a fantasy land, but in the real world there are plenty of horrible people that only see others as stepping stones to get what they want. It’s not the world I want to live in, but I would be willfully ignorant if I did not accept it.
I guess it’s also the fault of the victims of abusive relationships then? A man getting abused by his wife or girlfriend should have just not gotten with her?
The point is you can’t know what someone’s like right away, sometimes not for a long while into a relationship.
And again, why are you blaming her and the person sharing the photos?