MJ calls what happened to her in Zion national park “small ‘T’ trauma”. She knows women have experienced worse from their partners. But she still feels the anger of being left behind on a hike by her now ex. “It brings up stuff in my body that maybe I have not cleared out yet,” she said.
Five years ago, MJ and a new partner – he was not exactly her boyfriend, and the pair were not exclusive – traveled from Los Angeles to Utah for an adventure getaway. MJ, who is 38 and works in PR, was looking forward to exploring Zion’s striking scenery; its vast sandstone canyon and pristine wading trails were on the list. But on the morning of their big hike, MJ was not feeling well. She could not shake the feeling that something was “off”; indeed, MJ would learn on this trip that her partner was seeing other women.
As they made their way up Angel’s Landing, MJ’s partner started walking faster than her. “I could tell it was getting on his nerves that I was slow,” she said. “I was like, ‘Fuck it, just go ahead of me.’” He did without hesitation.
When she caught up at the top of the mountain, they took a picture together. Then her partner hiked down the mountain with a woman he had met on the way up, leaving MJ to finish by herself. They broke up shortly after that trip. (MJ asked to be referred to by her initials for the sake of speaking openly about a past relationship.)
Last month, MJ opened TikTok and heard the phrase “alpine divorce”, a label she now attaches to her experience in Zion.
Women need to stop putting their faith in shitty men.
God forbid shitty men are told to be less shitty.
They’re told that all the time and they don’t listen or care because they are shitty.
Everyone who rewards their shitty behavior encourages it.
As does everyone who ignores their shitty behaviour.
I will say that us women get pretty fucking tired of often being the only ones to speak up tho.
You need to teach each other how to recognize these predators so you stop falling prey to their tactics.
Personally, I don’t hang around shitbags so I don’t have an opportunity to tell them what they’re doing is wrong in any way that might matter to them. I’ve been saying this guy is trash this entire time.
What do you think the purpose of sharing stories like in the article is?
But men are very upset in here that women are talking about these stories. That it doesn’t happen enough for women to talk about it. That it’s sexist to share stories of the type of men who take these actions.
Women share stories, women gossip, women look out for each other in these ways all the time. We have to work together to protect ourselves from predatory men all the time.
Golly gee, thank you SO FUCKING MUCH for telling us that we need to teach each other. How would us silly women have ever thought of that if YOU didn’t tell us?
Yes. We really need more men to call each other out for this shit.
But somehow, all of the messaging to convince men to raise the floor have somehow been received as an attack on manhood when in reality, the results would benefit both men and women immensely.
Equality looks like oppression to men because they benefit from how society is now. They don’t care that women are blamed for how they act, they want to continue to oppress women for their own gain.
A person can do both. But my words of don’t be shitty won’t carry as much weight as them not getting laid. So both is a far more effective choice then only one.
I will also add two more. Women should stop having babies with shitty men, as they don’t teach thier sons not to be shitty, and men who get women pregnant need to step up and make sure thier son’s don’t grow up to be shitty men.
It’s much more complicated than that. If only it were only this easy.
So many get rose colored glasses in early stage dating. We often become our best versions of ourselves, or… project the best versions, early in dating.
Then once comfortable, the gaurd comes down, the truth of who they are comes to light, and people get hurt. Often though, now heart strings are in place, and … name a worse duo, people pleasers/selfish people.
Yes yes, it’s all women’s fault that men are shitty. Thanks for enlightening me!
shitty men are more attractive than not shitty men, because shitty men are willing to do whatever it takes to get the girl, and then dump her on a mountain top.
shitty men are also really good at hiding how shitty they are, until they stop hiding it… and what a more perfect place to stop hiding it, than in the middle of no where with few witnesses.
so are shitty women.
most shitty people aren’t going to be shitty in public, they wait until you are in a vulnerable moment.
Yeah they do. Ive known abuse from a few different, expierences, and it is always covert abuse. Kind people in front of others, mean/cruel behind closed doors. That how it can go on for so long and people can get trapped in these kinds of relationships. Sucks.
Yes, and it’s how you get gaslit. Because everyone else thinks they are so wonderful, so if you think there is an issue, it must be you that is problematic one…
people focus way way too much on superficial bullshit. I had a few friends who fell into that trap and had super abusive partners, and I myself fell into it, thankfully not as badly though. And the abusers frame the entire think as your fault. If only you’d listen to them and make them happy, then they wouldn’t’ have to hit you…
Lmao, I think most shitty people tend to be pretty fucking obvious. That’s sort of why people have common red flags. Like not dating people who talk down to others or who badmouth servers or who vote Republican. Because those warning signs don’t usually come out of nowhere, but I will grant that sometimes, rarely, shitty people do hide themselves.
I don’t think they are obvious at all.