As people have pointed out, I constantly crave attention and validation on a “pathological level”. People have said I’m a covert narcissist, most likely, and I constantly feel like I NEED to post to get my feelings out and have the attention on me, then I delete it when I don’t get that validation. I constantly have to explain to others why I’m right rather than take accountability because I start to spiral and hate myself if I don’t. However, someone said I don’t have it because I don’t bully others when I don’t get what I want.
I also feel like I may be too self-aware for it, though I don’t generally like or care enough to look inside myself and have to think hard about it just to reach a conclusion about who I am.
The best way to answer this is to see a psychologist. They can actually diagnose you. Just bc you’re self aware doesn’t mean you can’t be one or even that you’re less likely to be a narcissist. There are some that are self aware and use that knowledge to their advantage. If you truly think you might be a narcissist then seeing a psychologist is the best thing to do. Your doctor might also be able to make a recommendation