As people have pointed out, I constantly crave attention and validation on a “pathological level”. People have said I’m a covert narcissist, most likely, and I constantly feel like I NEED to post to get my feelings out and have the attention on me, then I delete it when I don’t get that validation. I constantly have to explain to others why I’m right rather than take accountability because I start to spiral and hate myself if I don’t. However, someone said I don’t have it because I don’t bully others when I don’t get what I want.
I also feel like I may be too self-aware for it, though I don’t generally like or care enough to look inside myself and have to think hard about it just to reach a conclusion about who I am.
If you are asking this question, you aren’t one.
You sound like you have shitty friends. Shitty people in your life will try to negatively label you to manipulate you. My abusive partners would always try to diagnose me as a form of leverage to win arguments and keep me down, because they were insecure jerks who couldn’t meet me as an equal.