The ability to spray infinite amounts of magic, near frictionless lubricant out of my asshole. No, this is not a sex thing, it’s an arcane-trickster meets the worlds weirdest clown thing.
Imagine being able to have a cartoon-style banana peel. Now make it nigh invisible and give yourself an infinite supply. Now make it deployable by farting, or at least pretending to.
And it’s magic. It actually materializes like 6 inches away from my butt, so I don’t turn my pants into a goopy mess.
Colorless, odorless, tastless. The perfect pratfall. The undetectable laxative. Perfect for parties, an instant “ice” skating rink! Make money winning slip and fall cases! Stand on your head and become the sumo wrestling champ! They can’t push over what their hands slip off of. Win every bobsled race with the most unconventional form, spraying near frictionless lube in front of the sled the whole way. Create the perfect getaway from a heist by sending your pursuers slipping and sliding. Need to quit adventuring and lay low while the sumo and bobsled judges search for the guy who stole all the gold medals after being disqualified? You can make some easy side money through industrial applications! Need to stage some “accidents” to take out terrible co-workers at your industrial job? You’d be surprised how dangerous it can be to go careening off a catwalk at walking speed. Lighten up a funeral, spray lube all over the casket handles! Need to spice up some alone time with the widow? Do I really need to say more?
The ability to spray infinite amounts of magic, near frictionless lubricant out of my asshole. No, this is not a sex thing, it’s an arcane-trickster meets the worlds weirdest clown thing.
Imagine being able to have a cartoon-style banana peel. Now make it nigh invisible and give yourself an infinite supply. Now make it deployable by farting, or at least pretending to.
And it’s magic. It actually materializes like 6 inches away from my butt, so I don’t turn my pants into a goopy mess.
Colorless, odorless, tastless. The perfect pratfall. The undetectable laxative. Perfect for parties, an instant “ice” skating rink! Make money winning slip and fall cases! Stand on your head and become the sumo wrestling champ! They can’t push over what their hands slip off of. Win every bobsled race with the most unconventional form, spraying near frictionless lube in front of the sled the whole way. Create the perfect getaway from a heist by sending your pursuers slipping and sliding. Need to quit adventuring and lay low while the sumo and bobsled judges search for the guy who stole all the gold medals after being disqualified? You can make some easy side money through industrial applications! Need to stage some “accidents” to take out terrible co-workers at your industrial job? You’d be surprised how dangerous it can be to go careening off a catwalk at walking speed. Lighten up a funeral, spray lube all over the casket handles! Need to spice up some alone time with the widow? Do I really need to say more?
This is tagline material. You win. Best wizard.