Space Facts@lemmy.world to memes@lemmy.worldEnglish · 1 day agoPrioritieslemmy.worldimagemessage-square41fedilinkarrow-up1576arrow-down17
arrow-up1569arrow-down1imagePrioritieslemmy.worldSpace Facts@lemmy.world to memes@lemmy.worldEnglish · 1 day agomessage-square41fedilink
minus-squareGreenKnight23@lemmy.worldlinkfedilinkarrow-up15arrow-down1·1 day agobecause in the US you can’t kill yourself. if you try and fail you’ll be charged with a crime. corpses don’t generate profit. you will work until you die of “natural causes”.
minus-squarenightofmichelinstars@sopuli.xyzlinkfedilinkarrow-up4·1 day agoFortunately, suicide by cop is a sure thing. Point a pencil in their direction and they’ll empty a clip on you.
minus-square[deleted]@piefed.worldlinkfedilinkEnglisharrow-up6·20 hours agoTheir aim sucks though, so have fun recovering in the ER where they won’t let you die.
minus-squareEcho Dot@feddit.uklinkfedilinkarrow-up2·edit-219 hours agoJust don’t attempt to assassinate the president. Or else you risk getting arrested and having your shirt taken off, it’s all just a really uncomfortable interaction and not worth it.
minus-squaresome_kind_of_guy@lemmy.worldlinkfedilinkarrow-up1·19 hours agoStill fine to go get the TV, though, yeah? I’m trying to complete my home theatre setup
minus-squareREDACTED@infosec.publinkfedilinkarrow-up2arrow-down1·edit-21 day agoBecause commenter above feels like it
Wait, why?
because in the US you can’t kill yourself. if you try and fail you’ll be charged with a crime.
corpses don’t generate profit. you will work until you die of “natural causes”.
Fortunately, suicide by cop is a sure thing. Point a pencil in their direction and they’ll empty a clip on you.
Their aim sucks though, so have fun recovering in the ER where they won’t let you die.
Just don’t attempt to assassinate the president. Or else you risk getting arrested and having your shirt taken off, it’s all just a really uncomfortable interaction and not worth it.
Still fine to go get the TV, though, yeah? I’m trying to complete my home theatre setup
Because commenter above feels like it