Sorry I have to be the one to tell you this, but you need to have an exit strategy. I know being in the au pair program is a great opportunity for a lot of people, but this is not how it’s supposed to be. The moment someone starts trying to move the red line, it’s a clear warning sign. There have been far too many cases in the past - so many that some countries are stepping away from the au pair programme. At least make sure you have an exit in case things take a turn for the worse, and notify the au pair agency. Never surrender your passport, and if the comments persist or the husband tries to push the limit any further; get out immediately!
Honestly, this isn’t my first rodeo. People tend to open up to me a lot because I apparently give off very chill, non-judgmental vibes. Plus he’s not being creepy about it.
I’m ignorant of your situation in every way and probably not as knowledgeable or insightful as the other people who have already offered ample advice, but it bothers me enough to drop a comment anyway on the off chance I might help.
“… tells me I’m his ideal type…” is, objectively, way into creepy territory.
I’m not saying it’s necessarily unmanageable, but managing it requires an honest assessment.
This profile is likely to delude himself into believing you enjoy being in on this secret at a minimum.
To me it’s more likely he’ll cultivate the fantasy that you outright desire him and are only holding back out of propriety.
Like other people have said, protect your agency and your exit options. Keep your passport safe. Don’t drink with him. Identify someone nearby you would be able to call if you suddenly find yourself unusually tired or dizzy or feel trapped.
Or don’t what do I know. Just my thoughts based on very little.
no, no, no, quit being reasonable. We need you to do something risky, and dramatic. Something that may damage, or totally ruin your life, so that we may have a series of updates based on your drama to live through vicariously!
Sorry I have to be the one to tell you this, but you need to have an exit strategy. I know being in the au pair program is a great opportunity for a lot of people, but this is not how it’s supposed to be. The moment someone starts trying to move the red line, it’s a clear warning sign. There have been far too many cases in the past - so many that some countries are stepping away from the au pair programme. At least make sure you have an exit in case things take a turn for the worse, and notify the au pair agency. Never surrender your passport, and if the comments persist or the husband tries to push the limit any further; get out immediately!
Thanks for the advice, I really appreciate it. I can leave anytime if things get weird or uncomfortable.
Id already be uncomfortable
Honestly, this isn’t my first rodeo. People tend to open up to me a lot because I apparently give off very chill, non-judgmental vibes. Plus he’s not being creepy about it.
I’m ignorant of your situation in every way and probably not as knowledgeable or insightful as the other people who have already offered ample advice, but it bothers me enough to drop a comment anyway on the off chance I might help.
“… tells me I’m his ideal type…” is, objectively, way into creepy territory.
I’m not saying it’s necessarily unmanageable, but managing it requires an honest assessment.
This profile is likely to delude himself into believing you enjoy being in on this secret at a minimum.
To me it’s more likely he’ll cultivate the fantasy that you outright desire him and are only holding back out of propriety.
Like other people have said, protect your agency and your exit options. Keep your passport safe. Don’t drink with him. Identify someone nearby you would be able to call if you suddenly find yourself unusually tired or dizzy or feel trapped.
Or don’t what do I know. Just my thoughts based on very little.
no, no, no, quit being reasonable. We need you to do something risky, and dramatic. Something that may damage, or totally ruin your life, so that we may have a series of updates based on your drama to live through vicariously!