• mastertigurius@lemmy.world
    50·
    3 hours ago

    Sorry I have to be the one to tell you this, but you need to have an exit strategy. I know being in the au pair program is a great opportunity for a lot of people, but this is not how it’s supposed to be. The moment someone starts trying to move the red line, it’s a clear warning sign. There have been far too many cases in the past - so many that some countries are stepping away from the au pair programme. At least make sure you have an exit in case things take a turn for the worse, and notify the au pair agency. Never surrender your passport, and if the comments persist or the husband tries to push the limit any further; get out immediately!

        • morepoetrylessprose@lemmy.worldOP
          8·
          2 hours ago

          Honestly, this isn’t my first rodeo. People tend to open up to me a lot because I apparently give off very chill, non-judgmental vibes. Plus he’s not being creepy about it.

          • HeHoXa@lemmy.zip
            3·
            25 minutes ago

            I’m ignorant of your situation in every way and probably not as knowledgeable or insightful as the other people who have already offered ample advice, but it bothers me enough to drop a comment anyway on the off chance I might help.

            “… tells me I’m his ideal type…” is, objectively, way into creepy territory.

            I’m not saying it’s necessarily unmanageable, but managing it requires an honest assessment.

            This profile is likely to delude himself into believing you enjoy being in on this secret at a minimum.

            To me it’s more likely he’ll cultivate the fantasy that you outright desire him and are only holding back out of propriety.

            Like other people have said, protect your agency and your exit options. Keep your passport safe. Don’t drink with him. Identify someone nearby you would be able to call if you suddenly find yourself unusually tired or dizzy or feel trapped.

            Or don’t what do I know. Just my thoughts based on very little.

      • Jiggle_Physics@quokk.auEnglish
        61·
        2 hours ago

        no, no, no, quit being reasonable. We need you to do something risky, and dramatic. Something that may damage, or totally ruin your life, so that we may have a series of updates based on your drama to live through vicariously!

  • indomara@lemmy.worldEnglish
    2·
    59 minutes ago

    Everyone is saying you’re doomed but I think it’s salvageable as long as you are very good at setting boundaries and keeping to them.

    Do not encourage his oversharing, do not offer too much advice as that will only draw you in. Do not allow anything that would overstep the line, this includes him saying things like “You’re his type”.

    If he says something like that again the simplest non-confrontational response is something humorous that clearly points out the line he’s trying to cross.

    Something like “Well that’s awkward…” Or “What a strange thing to say…” “Yeah that’s way over my pay grade…” Say it jokingly and laugh, so things stay friendly, but you have pointed out the line instead of your nervous laughter sounding like agreement.

    • FollyDolly@lemmy.world
      7·
      2 hours ago

      This. Record him saying these things. Otherwise it’s he said she said. Keep a log of names and dates of when he spoke to you, what he said. This will not get better on it’s own.

      Also this protects your future jobs, you don’t want to get fired from ever doing this again because, she seduced my husband! That hussy will never work again!