• tetris11@lemmy.ml
        0·
        3 months ago

        This raises the good question of whether masochists need consent in some situations

        Edit: from the severe negative feedback, I presume then that user pzzzt has legitimate cause to feel attacked, and that user Kevo is false in their presumption that this is a good thing for them. Or we might all be overreacting to some risqué banter. Real thinker.

        • shneancy@lemmy.world
          2·
          3 months ago

          both pzzzt’s and kevo’s comments were jokes

          you brought up the topic of consent, which is never a joke in kink communities, hence why you got downvotes

        • andros_rex@lemmy.world
          1·
          3 months ago

          Consent is the line that separates kink from abuse. It has to be the thing that people who do kink treat as the most sacred thing. If consent were not there, “doms” would be committing horrific acts of abuse.

          The things I have let men to me have been only okay, and only enjoyable, because they were done to me with my consent. Taking a crop after a careful warmup by a partner who asked you in detail about what parts are okay to hit, and how you would like to be treated afterwards, and how long you’d like it to last - this is fun. Having a hookup spank or choke you out of nowhere? Not fun. Even if I enjoy spanking (or being choked, but choking is genuinely not safe and it’s concerning how common it is) - when I don’t know what the boundaries are anymore - I can’t relax and enjoy myself.

          I lived as a 24/7 “you can hit me whenever you want” painslut, and even then, there were days where I didn’t want to be hit. Even the most extreme masochists are still people, and are still going to have limits.

          Any kink community worth its salt will pillory you (not in a fun way) for not taking consent seriously. That’s how you can tell if they are safe.

          • tetris11@lemmy.ml
            0·
            3 months ago

            I guess I didn’t really understand what a masochist actually meant, as I attached some kind of sadist connotation to it, when it’s just a pain-related kink. Thanks for the extra context, and I will try to update my understanding

            • andros_rex@lemmy.world
              1·
              3 months ago

              Healthy sadism and masochism are when adults come together to talk about things that they enjoy doing or being done to them, and then doing those things in a way that is fun for both parties. What that looks like can look like a whole bunch of things, even things that we would see as actual crimes if they were being done to people who had not said “yes I want this.” (nothing like some light waterboarding)

  • 🇰 🌀 🇱 🇦 🇳 🇦 🇰 🇮 @pawb.socialEnglish
    1·
    3 months ago

    Nah, it’s pretty much the right side for both.

    Can’t remember what I was playing but I started getting attacked when I thought I was in a safe spot and got up to grab something from the fridge; the getting hurt sounds my dude was making sounded like he was taking cock like a champ.

    • PugJesus@lemmy.worldEnglish
      1·
      3 months ago

      Nah, it’s pretty much the right side for both.

      What a brave new world of gender equality we now live in 🙏

  • Shezzagrad@lemmy.mlEnglish
    0·
    3 months ago

    A women being hurt 9 times of 10 is screaming. Imagine how annoying that’d be in a game.

    • erin (she/her)@lemmy.blahaj.zone
      0·
      3 months ago

      The “women are always screaming” stereotype is sexist. It’s a direct extension of the pseudoscientific hysteria diagnosis that used to be commonly accepted. “A women,” as you put it, might scream, and you might find that annoying. Women as a category have higher pitched voices on average, and the line between “reasonable yelling” and “hysterical screaming” is often just one of pitch, even when the cause for alarm or injury is the same.

      Additionally, neither I nor any of the women in my life “scream” in response to injury. We yell in pain just like someone with a masculine voice, if a bit higher pitched. Some may, but it’s not common and is usually reserved for situations of extreme alarm or fear, or occasionally excitement. Any time a woman does scream on video, you always see someone in the comments complaining about how annoying women screaming is. The same is never said about men screaming, unless they scream “like a girl.”

      9/10 times. How out of touch are you?