fuck I’m not in the right headspace when I’m asking this, unresolved trauma. Now I’m repeating in my head “love them more than my mental illnesses”.

I wanted to warn an organization i cared about my past and that manipulation comes naturally to me to the point where I don’t notice after the fact. I legit want see them succeeded and stand in blind solidarity.

I have reached out someone in the organization about my issues. I’m hoping they respond.

  • solidheron@sh.itjust.worksOP
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    2 days ago

    … I’m not calling the “subtle aura” magical, it’s just short hand for how my demeanor hints at my narcissism 😑

    Love the hostility I’m getting and the finger wagging I’m getting.

    • AskewLord@piefed.social
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      2 days ago

      all of which means you’re not a narcissistic dude.

      narcissists don’t enjoy finger wagging and hostility. they hate it and they fly into a rage when it’s done to them.

      why is it that you want so badly to be a narcissist? because it will give you a excuse to justify something shitty you did to folks?

      • jaycifer@lemmy.world
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        2 days ago

        If someone is a narcissist that believes themself better than others, why would they give a shit about hostility and finger wagging from others? If anything, it would prove that the other person is losing their cool and is therefore inferior to the narcissist.

      • solidheron@sh.itjust.worksOP
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        2 days ago

        You’re a little narcissist. You’re relentlessly gas lighting. Trying to convince me I’m wrong.

        I enjoy hostility from others because I can undermine the hostile people, make them crash out, and they can’t do shit other than get called out for playing the victim.

        If someone is nice or neutral to me then I have to deal with the guilt that I’m manipulated and attacking their ego

        • AskewLord@piefed.social
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          2 days ago

          you have no idea wtf you are talking about.

          you’re clearly just trolling, and just defined what being a troll is.

          • solidheron@sh.itjust.worksOP
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            2 days ago

            Yeah seen that before. Narcissist want to believe I’m being insincere to protect their ego. I’m trolling or rage baiting.

            But if you believe I have no idea what I’m talking about then you don’t need my approval

            • AskewLord@piefed.social
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              2 days ago

              this entire thread you admitted many times to seek emotional gratification from other people.

              you just keep contradicting yourself… and seem to see nothing wrong with this. OK.

              • solidheron@sh.itjust.worksOP
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                2 days ago

                Like the word emotional gratification? Or are you referring to be a narcissist and that I trying to control people to meet my ends.

                I’ll share this with you. People will still treat you like a shitty person even as you start out working on yourself, you’re gonna have to really fucking suffer, then on top of that put even more work on top of that. It’s not gonna be easy or even gratifying for a while, if you put in the work, you’ll make connections with people.

                When your suffering starts to drop then you’ll know your on the right track