I admit, I’m judging you by that comment alone, but something irks me about that comment.
I’m not arguing that your son might not be a fascist, but “despite how I raised you” and “I’m planning to reconnect with him” are (to me) both indicators that your son has been growing up in an environment where he is often told what to do, while ignoring what he thinks or wants.
Thus, a fascist environment might suit him, because he might find comfort in being used to navigating such environments with clear hierarchies.
So, have you asked yourself why it has come to this? Why did you disconnect from your son in the first place? Was it truely pure Anger, or did you hope for a certain reaction?
Why did you write you are “planning to reconnect”, not “hoping to reconnect”? Why do you need or want your son back in your life? Why would he want you back in his life? Can you accept him as he is? Is he allowed to say “no”? How would a “no” make you look and/or feel? How would a "yes"make you look and/or feel?
Why did you tell him “This is not how I raised you” (“I don’t want you to be like this”), instead of helping him get to the bottom of why or why not he might think fascism is a good thing? Can you understand his decision, even if you might not share his morals? How do you think he feels? Does he deserve an apology?
I’ll give you some more context. I only came to this decision after driving with him for 10 hours up to Portland, where he worked for 6 months, and then driving him back down for another 10 hours. All the hours of which we talked quite deliberately about our differences of opinion. This wasn’t a spur of the moment thing.
My son is a lot like me, and all my other children. We are opinionated but rational. Indeed, I am planning to reconnect, and I hope he feels the same way. But that’s not up to me. It depends on how it goes.
In the end, he is my son, I have made choices, and I indeed regret quite a few of the ones I’ve made. I hope to rectify this one, this one that has severed my connection with my child. I talk with my other three children regularly.
You might think about how much you are thinking about other people’s comments on the internet though.
Why should he worry about how much he’s thinking about your comment? Isn’t provoking reactions part of posting something like that publicly or was it mainly meant as venting?
I actually agree with his sentiment but wouldn’t really be able to explain what exactly irks me. I think there can be value in reflecting on how relationship dynamics or social environments contribute to people drifting toward more extreme views. That doesn’t mean it’s your fault or that you’re responsible for his choices. But your first comment came across as if you saw yourself as having little or no role in the dynamic at all and I don’t think that’s true.
I think it actually makes sense to think about some of the questions posted by @Ediacarium@feddit.org. You might be able to better understand why you reacted so strongly.
I admit, I’m judging you by that comment alone, but something irks me about that comment.
I’m not arguing that your son might not be a fascist, but “despite how I raised you” and “I’m planning to reconnect with him” are (to me) both indicators that your son has been growing up in an environment where he is often told what to do, while ignoring what he thinks or wants.
Thus, a fascist environment might suit him, because he might find comfort in being used to navigating such environments with clear hierarchies.
So, have you asked yourself why it has come to this? Why did you disconnect from your son in the first place? Was it truely pure Anger, or did you hope for a certain reaction?
Why did you write you are “planning to reconnect”, not “hoping to reconnect”? Why do you need or want your son back in your life? Why would he want you back in his life? Can you accept him as he is? Is he allowed to say “no”? How would a “no” make you look and/or feel? How would a "yes"make you look and/or feel?
Why did you tell him “This is not how I raised you” (“I don’t want you to be like this”), instead of helping him get to the bottom of why or why not he might think fascism is a good thing? Can you understand his decision, even if you might not share his morals? How do you think he feels? Does he deserve an apology?
That’s a lot of questions.
I’ll give you some more context. I only came to this decision after driving with him for 10 hours up to Portland, where he worked for 6 months, and then driving him back down for another 10 hours. All the hours of which we talked quite deliberately about our differences of opinion. This wasn’t a spur of the moment thing.
My son is a lot like me, and all my other children. We are opinionated but rational. Indeed, I am planning to reconnect, and I hope he feels the same way. But that’s not up to me. It depends on how it goes.
In the end, he is my son, I have made choices, and I indeed regret quite a few of the ones I’ve made. I hope to rectify this one, this one that has severed my connection with my child. I talk with my other three children regularly.
You might think about how much you are thinking about other people’s comments on the internet though.
Why should he worry about how much he’s thinking about your comment? Isn’t provoking reactions part of posting something like that publicly or was it mainly meant as venting?
I actually agree with his sentiment but wouldn’t really be able to explain what exactly irks me. I think there can be value in reflecting on how relationship dynamics or social environments contribute to people drifting toward more extreme views. That doesn’t mean it’s your fault or that you’re responsible for his choices. But your first comment came across as if you saw yourself as having little or no role in the dynamic at all and I don’t think that’s true.
I think it actually makes sense to think about some of the questions posted by @Ediacarium@feddit.org. You might be able to better understand why you reacted so strongly.