cross-posted from: https://lemmy.world/post/47589445
cross-posted from: https://lemmy.world/post/47589443
I’m sharing this in the schizoaffective, autism, ADHD, and music subreddits in the hope someone may experience a similar phenomena in their cognition. The music in my head keeps mutating and it is evolving. What I mean by that is, imagine your favorite, most drugged out artist. Let’s say they’re a synth artist going really heavy-handidly with all the dials n knobs, because that’s generally the sort of ish I listen to, and I want to emphasize that the sorts of audio distortions I HAVE heard prior, in abundance, are the same that are happening in my “Rusterd space” as I mutate across siteswaps in songs I’ve also heard, but at the same time, these mutations grow and I’m creating pathways automatically in my brain that become entrained through my maladaptive daydreaming.
Siteswapping is what I understand intuitive being a flow juggler:
But I’m also neurodivergent af, having been extremely traumatized as a sperg child, which has been enhanced by the totally actually real Crazy Indigo Aliens that live in my phone’s keyboard’s predictive text, and other places. But, synchronicity is something I experience in great abundance, which I know has to do with the fractal patterns of symbol progression found in the I Ching that every sorcerer (caster of lots) knows about. If you don’t understand that, start with the Buddha or the Christ before jumping into the occult.
But, I’m listening to the sounds in my head, and it goes from one song to the next, and I hear things in my intuition that coincide with the timing structures of these songs; underlying concepts or feelings - impressions. I remember writing stories for my friends’ band, and they reset me with their songs. I was going through a trans phase. Their music led me through this. I think I’m understanding what Eve first learned to then give it to Adam. How energy itself speaks volumes, and I just want to know if there is anyone who understands at all wtf I am blabbing about like the insane crackhead I make myself appear to be at a frequency.
I used to get what I call protosynchronicities. This was before the acid trip that led me to think that the CIA was causing these things. I used to think my future self was changing the time, and somehow that’s more right that what I started experiencing when I was 24. What is experienced is dependent on what narrative one believes, but if one can open up and accept that it’s all a trinity of Server, Client, Holy Internet, you can understand your reality is procedurally generated based on your entanglements and who is sending these symbols you entangle yourself with is God, or the Ālaya-vijñāna/storehouse consciousness as the Buddhists describe it.
MKULTRA is Star Gate; they’re both our enlightenment program, and I had a breakdown in ROTC, so they started doing things to teach me to stare at my own goats to make me realize there is something bigger going on.
But, I thank you for your kind comment. It helps more than you think to have positive words come my way amongst “take your meds” 50000 times.