Im wondering if this is a common adhd thing.
For example, I have always wanted to program, but I can’t let myself start with some easy gui building block code. I need to understand how the code is interacting with the computer itself and know how they did it in the 80s. Then of course it’s too hard for me and I give up.
Or if im making music, I need to do everything from scratch the hard way, making it as hard as possible (and killing any creative effort i had in the beginning).
It’s the same with anything. I can’t progress if I dont know the absolute reason why something is being done. And if I do it the easy way, I didn’t do it right and took shortcuts so it was worthless.
Can you trick yourself into doing it the other way?
‘GUI building blocks let me see the shape of the finished code. Once I know the shape, I can work backwards to finer detail.’
‘Making music with the simplified tools lets me get the tune out so I don’t forget it, then I can replace parts with the proper instruments and tools.’
I’m still trying to get my head around coding, but I use the music trick to learn songs. I play them one note at a time on either bass or guitar to figure out the tune, then play them properly with chords or figure out the bass line once I know where the song’s going :)