Preface, nothing against those that do.
Its increasingly difficult to ever do fun things with my current friends. Now that I’m to the point where I have the space and the money and time to do pretty much anything I want, no one else has any time to hang out. I get ignored a lot, which I get, they care about their family more. But I’m the type of person who likes to host stuff and do things.
Not a huge deal to me, I’m fine being alone, but its like, man, its really fun hanging out and playing some IRL video games or just cruising or walking around outdoors etc. I guess nobody really has time as they get old though. Or maybe I need to find a younger crowd 😆 I have no idea.
You need a 3rd space. Join a sport/hobby/club.
The real problem is meeting people while being selective. Hosting events and posting online is an option but you literally can’t be selective and you’ll have to be okay with nobody showing up sometimes. Attending other peoples events might suit you though!
You could make friends through a multiplayer games dischord.
Going to the same place regularly is a good one. Cafes, Book stores, etc can be 3rd spaces, especially if they host community events. Bars as well but that isn’t gonna contribute to a healthy lifestyle.
Younger crowd works for a bit in your early 30s but every year past 35 it feels less and less natural. It’s not just generational, like they’re in a completely different phase of life. At a certain point you’re just not growing up tbbh.
RE people with kids, you gotta just accept that they’ll participate when they can.