Bit of a shower thought: Outside of limited circumstances, like interviews or therapy, nobody is really expected to give you honest feedback on how you come across.
This sucks. I’ve been told I come across as unfriendly once, but I have no idea if I was just nervous and tired at the time. I still cherish that one moment almost 10 years ago when someone told me I was funny in some corporate team building bs.
Now, I could ask friends and family, but I believe they would probably not tell me the full, honest truth. After all, they (hopefully) like me and I would probably avoid being too harsh to everyone but very close people in private.
At the same time, I know plenty of people who really should get some feedback, who probably believe they are funny while everyone is bored and annoyed and hopes they talk a little less and the like.
So, are there socially accepted ways to get feedback on how you come across?
I realize that people are strange, relationships are hard, P!=NP and anime is not real. Still, it would be nice to have.
The fact that you care at all tells me that you’re probably a decent person. Narcissists and sociopaths generally don’t give a shit about the opinions of others.
This may be foolish advice (like telling someone with clinical depression to “just cheer up”) but try not to overthink it.
I hope I am a decent person. But even a decent person can be annoying, intimidating, harsh, closed off etc, right? I’ve seen it often enough in others.
… at times, sure; no one is anywhere near perfect. It’s all contextual.