Do y’all ever feel anxious about taking medication and just stop for prolonged periods of time?
I’ve stopped my meds for 6 months for reasons I’m struggling to discern… And I also have a tendency to skip doses and save my pills in a stash I never touch. I’m not even sure if most of them are useable because they’re so old… For some context, I’ve been using Adderall XR 20mg for 10 years now so I have a pretty good idea of how it affects me.
I finally took one of the newer pills today and I feel unbearably anxious about it, even before doing so. And it’s not like I’m anti-medication or anything, I’ve encouraged others to get tested and medicated because it substantially increases quality of life but there’s something about it that personally is causing distress.
Just looking for some insight with others that have felt the same.
I have a similar struggle. I grew up in a family where taking psychiatric medication was a matter of deepest shame. Even long after I consciously rejected the idea, the underlying shame (and accompanying stress) was still very present and would sometimes be enough to convince me that I should be strong enough not to rely on crutches like medication just to get through the day. That impulse has never guided me wisely and it’s been a decades-long process of not letting it affect my behavior.
Talk therapy helps. Addiction peer groups help, sometimes.