Context: I’m 19 and completely inexperienced when it comes to dating. Two days ago, my friend, her boyfriend, and I were supposed to go see Backrooms together, but one of the boyfriend’s friends joined us last minute. This guy insisted on paying for my movie ticket, snacks, dinner afterward, and even 3 books when we stopped at a bookstore, and then he drove me home. After the movie, I mentioned that I wanted to see Obsession next because, in my mind, they’re kind of sister movies, and he said we should go see it together, which we did yesterday. He acted the exact same way then too. He’s also going fishing on Sunday, and I’m going with him. I’ve never had a guy act like this toward me before, so I honestly don’t know what to make of it. But I really love it, and I can’t stop thinking about him.
Yeah, I don’t really understand all these people talking about how it’s unusual. When I was a teenager and I liked a girl, I’d do everything I could to impress her.
“Oh, you said in passing you like this candy? I’ll get you a whole box! Oh, you reminisced about having a furby? I scoured every thrift store in the area to find this one for you! You want to buy this thing? Let me do it! I can do it!”
It’s definitely way too much, to the point where it’s probably creepy, but that’s just how the teenage brain works. They understand enough to know how to show you care, but they don’t understand enough to know that too much of a good thing can be bad.
It’s not that it’s unusual, it’s just that similar behavior is also an abusive tactic called love bombing. Imo, I think the kid is just being a bit awkward, but that doesn’t mean this behavior isn’t a problem. Like you said, it’s (probably) just teenagers being teenagers, but I don’t see anything wrong with pointing out how this can be a problem.
Like most situations, the best thing OP and friend can do is have a candid conversation about how they’re feeling towards one another and figure out what they’re both looking to get out of a relationship. Having been 19 myself, I doubt that conversation will happen in a way that is “correct”, but at the very least she now knows that love bombing is a thing and that it’s important to think about your own safety, wants, and needs
I can’t even count the number of bands I was suddenly “into” because the woman I was interested in at the time mentioned them in passing. 😂