Some people find it helpful to name the negative self-talk voice. Then you can say things like, “shut up, Karen. You never have useful suggestions.”

There is also something in toddler parenting called a “no thanks bite.” That’s the first vite of food that you have to decide if you want to say “no thanks.” It works with toddlers because there is less pressure around eating, and you are allowed to try new things that you might later decide not to have.

The adult version is the same. When trying out a new health routine, etc., you can do a “no thanks try.” Say, I am going to go to the gym this week and next week. If it works out, I may go again after that, or I may not. It just depends on whether it fits in my routine.

Remember that we have routines for reasons. We don’t always know why. Routines are very hard to change while the underlying reasons persist.