Hey there, I was wondering if this is normal or if anyone can relate to this.

I 20/male was born in Germany and lived my whole life here but since I was a child I was fascinated with America, grew up consuming all the media from there and always wanted to live there.

I always had the feeling that I’m misplaced and don’t belong where I’m from. I was always searching for the place where I feel like I belong and can better relate to people but never found it.

I always have this inner conflict of not knowing where I truly belong and what’s better for me/where I will be truly happy and feel more “home”.

For example I always wanted to go to America cause I thought it was way better and more advanced than Germany especially when it comes to consumerism. I grew up eating most of my meals at McDonald’s and was in love with the American chains and brands. The bigness, space, “freedom” and variety of places, stores, cultures and nature was always appealing to me. And I also prefer the English language and the social interactions. It feels like a deep dream having a road trip in America in a pickup truck while listening to country music with others, going to a shooting range and so on.

But then I’m conflicted if the culture is maybe dominantly shaped by consumerism and wonder if that is really good and truly makes me happy/gives me what I need. I wonder if it actually has stronger hustle culture and am unsure if that might take away from the connection with people and nature and might only make my deep void inside me bigger. Maybe it’s more artificial in the US and I might find more meaning/connection grounded in German society that might focus more on embracing an organic/open/recreational life that’s more connected to people and nature and less on individualism, materialism and work. But maybe it’s the exact opposite. I don’t even know if artificiality or organicality will make me more happy.

Because in Germany I really despise the directness and people being overly specific. Maybe that is mainly only with older generations though and I might not have this with people my age.

Never having lived in the US makes it very hard for me to know what the reality would be and what place would make me happier. Maybe anyone here has experience with both countries or maybe has experience with completely different countries/situations but that relates to this topic. In the end of the day this probably is more wishful/fantasy thinking than anything and I probably never get my butt anywhere else but I thought I at least keep dreaming and speak what’s on my heart.

I would also appreciate it if you could recommend me other communities that are maybe more fitting where I can post this.