Hey there, I was wondering if this is normal or if anyone can relate to this.
I 20/male was born in Germany and lived my whole life here but since I was a child I was fascinated with America, grew up consuming all the media from there and always wanted to live there.
I always had the feeling that I’m misplaced and don’t belong where I’m from. I was always searching for the place where I feel like I belong and can better relate to people but never found it.
I always have this inner conflict of not knowing where I truly belong and what’s better for me/where I will be truly happy and feel more “home”.
For example I always wanted to go to America cause I thought it was way better and more advanced than Germany especially when it comes to consumerism. I grew up eating most of my meals at McDonald’s and was in love with the American chains and brands. The bigness, space, “freedom” and variety of places, stores, cultures and nature was always appealing to me. And I also prefer the English language and the social interactions. It feels like a deep dream having a road trip in America in a pickup truck while listening to country music with others, going to a shooting range and so on.
But then I’m conflicted if the culture is maybe dominantly shaped by consumerism and wonder if that is really good and truly makes me happy/gives me what I need. I wonder if it actually has stronger hustle culture and am unsure if that might take away from the connection with people and nature and might only make my deep void inside me bigger. Maybe it’s more artificial in the US and I might find more meaning/connection grounded in German society that might focus more on embracing an organic/open/recreational life that’s more connected to people and nature and less on individualism, materialism and work. But maybe it’s the exact opposite. I don’t even know if artificiality or organicality will make me more happy.
Because in Germany I really despise the directness and people being overly specific. Maybe that is mainly only with older generations though and I might not have this with people my age.
Never having lived in the US makes it very hard for me to know what the reality would be and what place would make me happier. Maybe anyone here has experience with both countries or maybe has experience with completely different countries/situations but that relates to this topic. In the end of the day this probably is more wishful/fantasy thinking than anything and I probably never get my butt anywhere else but I thought I at least keep dreaming and speak what’s on my heart.
I would also appreciate it if you could recommend me other communities that are maybe more fitting where I can post this.
I was born and raised in Germany and used to feel similar. I’ve been living in the US for over a decade now, and somehow I still feel that way, so I’m starting to think it’s more of a me problem.
There are definitely advantages to living here, but also many drawbacks. The sense of freedom is definitely real, people here are generally far less judgemental than in Germany, unless perhaps you’re way out in the countryside. As long as you’re not going out of your way to piss people off, they’ll generally let you be as weird as you want.
The downside is that compared to Germany, life can feel pretty chaotic and unorganized at times. A lot of things you might take for granted over there simply don’t work the same way here. People are rarely on time and might cancel plans at the last minute for spurious reasons, and instead of being direct and upfront about what’s bothering them, they’ll be vague and indirect.
Also, food and rent are far more expensive than in Germany, and the quality is often worse, unless you’re willing to spend extra money. On the plus side, taxes are lower, and if you have a marketable skill set, you can definitely earn far more than you would in Germany (but you’ll be spending most of it in order to have a comparable lifestyle).
Overall, living here requires a lot of discipline and self-reliance. No one’s gonna tell you what to do, and there are fewer guardrails in place to keep you from going off the rails. It’s a high risk, high reward society.