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Joined 5 months ago
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Cake day: February 15th, 2025

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  • I’m pretty similar. I’m probably more generous with upvotes. I’ll also downvote:

    • any link without a description
    • YouTube links
    • Twitter reposts (that’s usually on reddit, though)

    I have to force myself not to downvote anything with anime. I have a visceral dislike for anime, probably a result of the shitty afternoon TV cartoon lineup in the 70s.

    I block a LOT of accounts. Anything that looks like ragebait or just arguing in bad faith.



  • The premium version has gotten a LOT better in recent months. I just fed it,

    “you can’t soothe a tree” meaning

    And it replied with: This phrase is not a standard idiom with a widely recognized meaning. Its interpretation depends on the context in which it is used. Literally, it means you cannot comfort or calm a tree in the way you would a sentient being, as trees do not possess emotions or consciousness that can be “soothed”. Metaphorically, it likely means:

    • Some entities (problems, situations, perhaps even certain people) are unresponsive to attempts at emotional comfort or calming.
    • Trying to apply emotional solutions or appeals to things that are inherently non-emotional or unchangeable is futile.
    • It could describe someone who is extremely stoic, impassive, or emotionally unavailable. The specific meaning depends heavily on the situation where the phrase was encountered.







  • Erik@discuss.onlinetoADHD@lemmy.world*Permanently Deleted*
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    4 months ago

    You aren’t “just toxic”, but there are some ADHD traits that are probably behind both the original behaviors and your reactions to your partner calling you out for them. The number one thing is probably feelings of shame because you forget important things, or because you impulsively say or do things that you later regret. Shame and regret are very unpleasant feelings, and it is normal to want to avoid them by justifying your actions.

    I would suggest trying to buy yourself a little space when your partner calls out your bad behaviors. Take a deep breath, and maybe say “I’m sorry. I’m trying to get better at that.” Or, “I’m sorry, I didn’t think that through or I wouldn’t have said it.”

    The two things that drive most negative behaviors are distractibility (which is why you forget important things) and impulsivity (which is why you say or do things that are hurtful, but realize it after the fact). Medication can help with both, but it takes a lot of work to reduce the impact to the point where it’s not a big negative in your life.

    Having a good reminder system can help with forgetfulness. Every phone comes with a calendar and a to-do list. Keep using them and understand that it is a whole set of skills to use them effectively, so it’s going to take time until you get good at it.

    Impulsivity is a bit tougher to overcome. A few simple breathing techniques, and a regular meditation practice can go a long way toward reducing that, though. (Meditation doesn’t mean becoming a Buddhist. Just using one of the meditation apps on your phone every day will have a cumulative effect over the course of weeks and months.)



  • Skim the book, “working effectively with legacy code”. In a nutshell, you write characterization tests around the module or method, then do safe IDE based refactorings, then do some slightly more significant refactorings. After that the code should make enough sense for you to make changes if you need to.

    It is as much in art as a science. The important thing is that as you are doing refactorings, the main one you do is to extract methods, and give the methods clear names that say what they are doing. You should be left with a top-level method that reads like a narrative of what the whole thing does.

    Medication helps me quite a bit. I am also using Atomoxetine. The effect is much more subtle than stimulants, but I think just as powerful in the long run.