I had the same dilemma. It comes down to this in my opinion:

• Do you trust yourself and your current networking gear, software, security setup enough to host this yourself at home?
• Do you trust your vps providers tech stack, ethics, privacy policy etc. AND your own ability to secure it to host it on a vps?
• Do you trust Tailscale the company who’s in the business of “zero trust vpn” solutions to use their product?

I didn’t check if they were audited and if so how, but I went with the free Tailscale option, the most comfortable option for me now. Might change once I get more competent at the subject.