Gentlethem

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Joined 2 years ago
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Cake day: July 13th, 2023

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  • Ananääs@sopuli.xyztoADHD@lemmy.world*Permanently Deleted*
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    3 months ago

    Feels, I struggle with the same issue as well. I suppose for me at least it’s the shame I’ve built up over the years for being different/“wrong” all the time and the low self-esteem and fear of rejection it has caused as well as general lack of security in relationships. One ends up expecting anger and rejection from others so of course it tries to avoid being confronted/blamed and instead reason/explain the situation away. Or shift blame. Being on spectrum can make us impulsive and dramatic so being reasonable and taking a step back is difficult when there already is a conflict. It does help me to realize that being AuDHD has a big impact on how I handle (or don’t) conflicts and having this explanation helps me tackle the shame and communicate the reasons for my shittyness to my partner, and change my behavior step by step where needed. It takes a lot of trust though and a shared interest on improving the relationship.