1. The Genie explains the only way to make all your wishes exactly the way you want would take an all knowing, all powerful being to deal with any possible side affect at any arbitrary time period. If genie granted that in your human form you’d go crazy and die, you might argue that this isn’t what you meant but you’d also be dead so the genie would think this must have been foreseen and a known consequence of becoming all knowing as a limited being… never mind the whole messing with higher powers argument rule.
2. even if you gave up wish 1 you only get 3 wishes! no new wishes, but the genie says he will allow you to use your last wish on others if you wish…

1. a state of pure anarchy comes about due to the inability to the inability to maximize the well being of the people they represent to any extent as no method of measurement is defined and as one manages to maximize one metric it minimizes others making public officials disappear!
2. you discover FTL propulsion as you fall into a black hole and share it with others on the same ship. unfortunately even if you find a way to escape it eons have passed and either everyone already is aware of FTL travel, or they have disappeared with the heat death of the universe.
3. unfortunately this affects higher powers!

it was, for the asteroid!

the shear amount of bad karma this caused through this wish comes back to you as Bad Karma. maybe stay home for a bit.

In the chaos that this causes you get final destinationed by a logging truck that has a crazy driver losing his mind because of proclamations of the end times. Genie didn’t even monkeys paw that one. it just happened

The genie clammed up when discussing the true source or nature of his power. needless to say genie can work within the constraints given. natural law be damned :)

It said Genie had to place it next to them neatly. Genie just had to make the asteroid indestructable or very hard to not take damage and the speed by which it got there was enough to destroy everything around it. see the multiple meteorites whose simple sound shattered windows for miles

1 the genie drops an asteroid down next to you making sure the asteroid is safe. You… maybe not so much. the genie likes specificity and conciseness and only had to give 1 wish. :)

The genie has a hard time calling it “replacing” blood with molten salt with blood making up so much of the human body and what is left destroying itself almost instantly when exposed to molten salt that all you’d really get is a molten salt shaped human and some bones in a pile after. genies also pretty sure the moment he poofs away the blood there already dead so this is just an over complicated way of throwing someone into a molten pit of salt. Your going to have to trust the genie on this one.

The quantity and speed govern energy, remember the genie was just confronted with the worst of humanity what if the genie decides all of humanity needs a reset with lots from everywhere destroying us all?

This is why the genie was worried, asking a genie for revenge or destruction almost always goes terribly wrong if only on principle of the genie not bring a hitman and is looking for equal ways to turn it against the wisher.

shared experiences is just neurons in our brain. basically add more and link them together.

If you can leave genie on hold for 7 months genie’s leaving you on hold till your dead before granting your wish (genie was pretty damn offended here, this is worse than the war crime stuff for him!)

The Genie thinks you haven’t really thought this through, replacing blood with molten salt isn’t physically possible and asking for mini rods from god to be launched from orbit at earth leaves it open to the genie how many and how much force to use. the Genie thinks you either don’t respect the monkeys paw his powers or maybe that you want us all dead anyway :(

The genie does indeed respect the intent but is pretty heavily incentivized to screw it up, the genie, drives us all insane by making us all live each others shared experiences so we can all be truly empathetic. he also coincidentally got all the bad guys/gals.

The reality is the genie gave you your 3 beer wishes and appreciated the simplicity of the ask so told the bartender to bill genie for the rest of your beers tonight and a cab home. No monkeys paw for those wishes.

The genie is wondering how you managed to get all that done before spontaneously finding him. He claims you must also be a genie and per genie law owes you no wishes!

The magnitude of this wish is beyond what the genie can pull off, best genie can do is free health/spa coupons. The genie sees what you were trying to do though and won’t monkey’s paw this one

The Genie grants part 1 but puts the cost of doing so on you as if you had to walk all the way there yourself(and doesn’t tell you this). On wish 2 it grants this for you and every other person but also adds a $5000 fee for doing so(be thankful the genie didn’t make it a greater fee!!), and for the last wish it will appear but if you try to eat it it disappears. :)

Maybe the genie will spend less time snooping in your thoughts…shivers a bit

You trust the genie too much!

Genie graciously grants all 3 wishes but now you’re out of wishes. The genie does appreciate being able to snoop on your thoughts though!