Lets assume that genies grant wishes literally, but will twist your words. How do you wish without unintended consequences? Typical rules of no more wishes, no resurrection, no forced love, no altering the past, can’t defy logic, can’t break physical laws, can’t create paradoxes, and can’t affect higher powers (this is one tough genie!).

  • brygphilomena@lemmy.dbzer0.comEnglish
    3·
    7 days ago

    I wish that all my wishes are granted in the manner in which I intended, with no unforeseen complications or consequences.

    I wish for the ability grant any and all wishes at my discretion for myself or others in a manner and method of my decision.

    • WizardGed@lemmy.caOPEnglish
      1·
      7 days ago
      1. The Genie explains the only way to make all your wishes exactly the way you want would take an all knowing, all powerful being to deal with any possible side affect at any arbitrary time period. If genie granted that in your human form you’d go crazy and die, you might argue that this isn’t what you meant but you’d also be dead so the genie would think this must have been foreseen and a known consequence of becoming all knowing as a limited being… never mind the whole messing with higher powers argument rule.
      2. even if you gave up wish 1 you only get 3 wishes! no new wishes, but the genie says he will allow you to use your last wish on others if you wish…
    • WizardGed@lemmy.caOP
      11·
      9 days ago

      The reality is the genie gave you your 3 beer wishes and appreciated the simplicity of the ask so told the bartender to bill genie for the rest of your beers tonight and a cab home. No monkeys paw for those wishes.

    • WizardGed@lemmy.caOPEnglish
      10·
      9 days ago

      I’m using my first damn wish to make you spill the beans on your genie wish strategies!!!

      • HubertManne@piefed.socialEnglish
        3·
        9 days ago

        ok first wish is for two wishes that I will be happy with the outcome of them both long and short term from my current perspective just before any wish activity goes on and uneffected by retro effects from the wishes and given the knowledge of how exactly those wishes will play out when I make them both short and long term.

        • WizardGed@lemmy.caOPEnglish
          2·
          9 days ago

          Technically you can’t wish for more wishes but even so attempting to give you near omnipotent knowledge that would be required to understand how all wish activity would most likely drive you insane or kill you in a mortal body. as to whether that would make you happy may be a perspective thing when the chance is a lot of pain from going crazy or dropping dead vs the torture of having to sift through that knowledge to use it taking more time then you have to live.

  • Hamartiogonic@sopuli.xyzEnglish
    12·
    9 days ago

    When Fox Mulder encountered a genie like that, his wish was delivered in written form. It was a binder with probably more than 1000 pages. Basically, he wished for world peace, but he had to lawyer his way out of all the usual genie BS. If the genie is playing dirty, you have to design the wish like you would design a law.

    Bonus Showerthought: The law is a book series specifically written for assholes.

    • Fredselfish@lemmy.world
      4·
      8 days ago

      I was just discussing that episode when my son asked me if I pushed a button that killed all assholes on the planet would I push it. I didn’t even hesitate in saying yes. He then asked even if it killed me too, and I still said yes.

      This led to whole discussion around this whole concept and the monkey paw theory and I also brought up the episode as well. The ending was the only correct choice to make.

      • Hamartiogonic@sopuli.xyz
        4·
        8 days ago

        I wouldn’t press that button. Getting rid of assholes is a temporary fix. The human nature will always produce more in the next generation. Besides, thanos snapping away such a big part of the population will probably result in some sort of societal collapse, famine and disasters.

        • CanadianCorhen@lemmy.ca
          4·
          7 days ago

          yea, seems likely that it would kill 100% of humanity.

          Babies are fucking assholes. they might not know better, but they are assholes.

          My toddler? often an asshole, does things just to see what happens.

          Teens? totaly assholes Adults: have you met them?

          • Hamartiogonic@sopuli.xyzEnglish
            3·
            7 days ago

            Yeah, if you use the broadest possible definition, then pretty much everyone would be gone. Even if you restrict it to only adults who are aware of what they are doing and still choose to be an asshole fairly often, you would be removing a huge part of the population. Sounds like a pretty bad move to me.

            That sort of thing might come close to nuking the entire species back to the stone age. Then again, that would be good for the environment in the long run. It could take like 20 000 years for the human species to fully recover from that one button press. I think I’m beginning to see some benefits… nah. Still a bad idea.

    • WizardGed@lemmy.caOP
      3·
      9 days ago

      The genie is wondering how you managed to get all that done before spontaneously finding him. He claims you must also be a genie and per genie law owes you no wishes!

        • WizardGed@lemmy.caOPEnglish
          2·
          8 days ago

          If you can leave genie on hold for 7 months genie’s leaving you on hold till your dead before granting your wish (genie was pretty damn offended here, this is worse than the war crime stuff for him!)

  • superduperpirate@lemmy.worldEnglish
    9·
    9 days ago
    • I win $50M USD after tax in the lotto, in a way that lets me claim it anonymously and live inconspicuously. I’ll keep my job & benefits package, though.
    • I have notably better physical & mental health now through the natural end of my life.
    • I have notably better emotional intelligence now through the natural end of my life.
  • Novamdomum@fedia.io
    9·
    8 days ago

    I would use my first wish to secure the outcome of the other two. Something like “Dear Genie, I wish for my next two wishes to be granted in a way that respects the intent I have for those wishes”. Then I would wish for everyone to have empathy and humility so that we can start all pulling together as a species instead of apart. For my last one I would wish that any limb that is used to hurt a child rots away and falls off. That’s just a personal one for me because I’ve never understood adults hurting children deliberately.

    • WizardGed@lemmy.caOPEnglish
      4·
      8 days ago

      The genie does indeed respect the intent but is pretty heavily incentivized to screw it up, the genie, drives us all insane by making us all live each others shared experiences so we can all be truly empathetic. he also coincidentally got all the bad guys/gals.

  • stepintomydojo@sh.itjust.works
    8·
    9 days ago

    I wish for a contract lawyer with genie experience who can write my other two wishes in a way that can’t be twisted. (But with more words needed to get that first wish right!)

    • Rhaedas@fedia.io
      10·
      9 days ago

      Chris and Jack did a skit like this. The first wish was to have the genie audit “what if I wish” speculations to tell how they might interpret the wish. A great video.

    • phonics@lemmy.world
      5·
      9 days ago

      Genie experience. Sure he works for the genie. Who ‘can’ do want you want. But doesn’t have to. ‘Can’ gives your lawyer an out.

    • WizardGed@lemmy.caOPEnglish
      2·
      9 days ago

      What if the genie lawyer isn’t licensed(not to many licensed lawyers with genie experience I imagine!) or is in league with the genie! Honestly the genie may be less tricky than that lawyer!

      • Em Adespoton@lemmy.ca
        4·
        9 days ago

        The genie itself likely has legal experience. He’s just allowed the genie to select the next two wishes.

        • WizardGed@lemmy.caOPEnglish
          1·
          9 days ago

          hmm, gonna have to be careful they are a genie repercussions might be able to be shrugged off/ignored

            • WizardGed@lemmy.caOPEnglish
              1·
              9 days ago

              ahh so your going for the whole your in this together with me thing, genie may give the lawyer an out by letting the lawyer word a wish to not include themselves or in a way that avoids them. lawyers are tricky!!!

    • WizardGed@lemmy.caOP
      5·
      9 days ago

      Now that the genie is free he is no longer constrained by all genie laws and enslaves us all for eternity! Great job now my weekend plans are completely ruined! /s

  • Em Adespoton@lemmy.ca
    6·
    9 days ago

    First wish: the genie will be my eternal friend.

    Second wish: free the genie from the geas — make the genie its own master.

    There is no third wish.

      • Em Adespoton@lemmy.ca
        7·
        9 days ago

        The first is because of the Arabian Nights story where the guy frees the genie and the first thing it does is kill the wisher. There’s another where the first thing it does is puts the wisher in the bottle it was trapped in.

        So “distant friend” is enough.

  • mediOchre@sh.itjust.works
    71·
    9 days ago

    I wish the genie can read my mind

    I wish that the genie completely understand my thoughts and intentions

    I wish that the genie is forced to only be able to grant me exactly what I’m thinking of, with no room for misinterpretation

    Easy

    • WizardGed@lemmy.caOP
      8·
      9 days ago

      Genie graciously grants all 3 wishes but now you’re out of wishes. The genie does appreciate being able to snoop on your thoughts though!

  • TheLeadenSea@sh.itjust.worksEnglish
    5·
    9 days ago

    I wish for the genie to, as far as their power allows, to minimize all suffering across all beings that can suffer across all time, and keeping that at a minimum, to maximize pleasure across all beings that can feel pleasure across all time

    • WizardGed@lemmy.caOP
      4·
      9 days ago

      The magnitude of this wish is beyond what the genie can pull off, best genie can do is free health/spa coupons. The genie sees what you were trying to do though and won’t monkey’s paw this one

  • CanadianCorhen@lemmy.ca
    4·
    7 days ago

    i’ve given (too much) thought into the wishes:

    1. I wish all public officials, both elected, appointed, or otherwise, work to maximize the well-being of the people they represent, and the world as a whole.

    2. I wish to invent practical, sustainable, achievable FTL propulsion, and live to share the knowledge to parties who can and will implement it.

    3. If there is no positive life after death, I wish there was, retroactively, and it was roughly inline with the form of the Good Place at the series end.

    WIshes arn’t perfectly bulletproof, but are robust enough i think it would be hard to twist.

    • WizardGed@lemmy.caOP
      3·
      7 days ago
      1. a state of pure anarchy comes about due to the inability to the inability to maximize the well being of the people they represent to any extent as no method of measurement is defined and as one manages to maximize one metric it minimizes others making public officials disappear!
      2. you discover FTL propulsion as you fall into a black hole and share it with others on the same ship. unfortunately even if you find a way to escape it eons have passed and either everyone already is aware of FTL travel, or they have disappeared with the heat death of the universe.
      3. unfortunately this affects higher powers!
        • CanadianCorhen@lemmy.ca
          1·
          1 day ago

          Thinking about it some more:

          1. this is why i used ‘works to maximize’, which is an imperfect state, and allows everyone to take steps without being crippled.
          2. i dont get how i can discover FTL in a blackhole, when im currently on earth… are you saying that the genie makes a ship without FTL, moves that ship to a black hole, and then teleports me there, allowing me to solve the day?
          3. comment stands, im ok if gods end up in the after life too. its not a bad place to wind down your life.
  • Washedupcynic@lemmy.caEnglish
    3·
    9 days ago

    I’d wish for the ability to teleport anywhere I have already been. (I figure with quantum entanglement, the genie could grant this, our scientific knowledge isn’t there yet.) I’d wish that at the end of each day my checking account fill back up to a balance of $5000. I’d wish for a refrigerator that appeared whatever food I wanted to eat.

    • WizardGed@lemmy.caOPEnglish
      2·
      9 days ago

      The Genie grants part 1 but puts the cost of doing so on you as if you had to walk all the way there yourself(and doesn’t tell you this). On wish 2 it grants this for you and every other person but also adds a $5000 fee for doing so(be thankful the genie didn’t make it a greater fee!!), and for the last wish it will appear but if you try to eat it it disappears. :)