specially for men but even women too.
like with how much more men statistically benefit from relationships and how hard dating is for younger men I just don’t buy they would break off a relationship with a woman who cheated on them. Especially if she gave them a good deal because not only is fending a girlfriend harder but women just won’t put up with mediocrity anymore we only date if we are interested we have our own money (young women out earn young men), our emotional support structure is better and the orgasm gap is real most men don’t measure up.
So would you seriously rather be single then settle ? Every man says this but looking at the data it seems none of them mean it.
Especially if she gave them a good deal
a woman who cheated on them
Hmmmmmm
I wouldn’t under any circumstances. That is an unrepairable breach of my trust.
If they cheat, it’s over. No exceptions.
This is the only correct answer.
The choice isn’t between being single or settling. It’s between keeping your options open for the right person or going back to your abuser.
Calling a partner who cheats an abuser is quite the leap.
There are remorseless serial cheaters for sure, and that is abusive and cruel behavior. There are also people who cheat because they feel like their needs aren’t being meet and haven’t figured out how to communicate that. And when that happens, there’s three options: figure your shit out, learn how to communicate, and rebuild trust; figure your shit out, learn to communicate, and accept if your partner isn’t interested in staying with you; or don’t take accountability. I don’t think any of those make them “abusers,” even the last one which is quite shitty. It makes them a flawed human and someone who shouldn’t try to be with someone until they figure out how to be better.
Edit to add, I was pondering more and there is a 4th option. I was thinking “don’t take accountability and get dumped.” But there is also “don’t take accountability and your partner stays with you,” and I would agree that that is abusive.
Relationships are built on trust. Cheating breaks that trust. That trust will never fully come back 100%. There so always be doubt and it will never be the same.
Amnesia. A really bad case of amnesia
My spouse and I have been together for almost 30 years and I see no sign of us parting ways anytime soon. We’re both persuaded we’ve lasted that long because we were both ok with the fact that the other is not perfect or faultless.
I will let anyone decide for themselves what limits should be made in a couple, and I will keep ours to ourselves, but even crossing those limits it should always be ok to try to fix it provided both parties are doing it with the right mindset and a willingness to be/to act better.
That’s what we both think and that’s how we managed to get through quite a few… difficult times, but that doesn’t make it an indisputable truth either. It’s just our 2 cents ;)
If you will never forgive cheating ever that is fine that is your boundary I can not tell you what to do I am not arguing you have a moral obligation to forgive cheating.
However I argue that in your emotional and material best interest you should keep dialog open and see what they offer and try to make it work
I think it’s what I said
It would take nothing, because I would not accept them back as a partner. I’d rather not find out if “once a cheater, always a cheater” holds true or not.
You need to move on and work on yourself. He’s always going to doubt you to at least some degree. Don’t put him through that.
I dunno a cool million might be persuasive enough. Would never trust or fully commit to her but she can rent the dick, I have no problem whoring myself out to women, problem is finding the ones who want to pay me lol
Time, genuine remorse and a reason to believe that it won’t happen again. And then it’s still not something I’d do lightly but sometimes people do make really stupid mistakes and learn their lesson after so I’m not gonna rule it out entirely.
This feels like it was written one-handed.
About the data, a huuuge chunk of men arent happy in their own skin being themselves. This leads to constant dating and an increased likelihood to cheat. Its more common for women to he happy with themselves, which leads to less desperation in dating and less cheating.
There would need to be more at stake than just our relationship, like a kid or something. The trust is gone, and while that can be regained over time, I’d never want to spend that kind of time waiting for it to come back.
A kid complicates things. Being in bad relationship for the sake of a child isn’t doing the child any favors. Just gives them a bad impression of what a relationship looks like. It’s probably better off not being in a relationship but still being in the child’s life if the other person allows it. Some instances of cheating are easier to handle than others and there’s no hard and fast rule. If it’s something that’ll interfere in the relationship for a long time, I wouldn’t come back.
I say this as a guy that has decided to be single rather than settling. Not because anyone cheated on me. Things didn’t work out because of things beyond our control. They set the bar high and I haven’t found anyone who is as good.
