Except the real solution they don’t present is “maybe have introspection about how you became a hate monger Nazi from watching Fox News lies constantly and that might be why your child hates you.”
“I really tell our parents … if you’re 100% perfect, great … but most parents have done something wrong, something that they want to change. And if they want a relationship with their child, they are going to have to change some things.”
ok it is a real thing. I’m a parent. I’d never wondered about this because my relationship with my parents is ok. I mean they’re nutty conservatives but they’re smart enough not to say anything about it.
Setting aside cases of abuse and neglect. It’s kind of weird to think that someone other than myself and my partner can have a say in who my child has to spend time with.
I think it would be an up-hill battle for my parents in my jurisdiction for example. I think they would need to establish that it’s in the child’s best interest to have a meaningful relationship with them, and they might struggle to do that.
Grandparents’ rights are not what many people seem think they are. It’s not a court ordering a couple to let estranged/toxic grandparents have access to their grandkids above the objections of the parents.
Rather, it is adjusting custody arrangements during separation/divorce so that grandparents can maintain an existing relationship wth their grandkids. For example, if a couple is separating and the mother gains primary custody, the father’s parents can apply to get visitation rights with the kids. It’s not automatic, as they would have to meet the burden of, “in the best interest of the children,” to the satisfaction of the judge.
Disclaimer: I am not a lawyer, but this is my understanding of the issue from reading discussions and papers (including the one linked in another post in this thread).
In my jurisdiction I think that’s only partially true.
Firstly, it’s also true here that the outcome needs to be “in the best interest of the child”, and that’s critical.
However, it’s not only cases where the child’s parents have had a relationship breakdown, but is applicable to cases where the child’s parents are estranged from the grandparents:
Sometimes grandparents are prevented from having a relationship with their grandchildren. This can happen where the relationship with their own
child has broken down (but the parents’ relationship remains intact), or where the parents have separated and one parent refuses to let them
see their grandchildren.
Grandparents do not have an automatic right to have a relationship with a grandchild. However, grandparents, and anyone who has an ongoing
relationship with the child, or any other person who can show that they are concerned with the care, welfare or development of a child (including
grandparents) can apply to the court for parenting orders.
So it’s not a law that would regularly enable grandparents to corrupt children against the wishes of the child’s parents.
Additionally, I suspect that parenting orders may be able to require supervised access, or restrict them from participating in religious ceremonies and that kind of thing.
Right, I’m mostly familiar with Canada (my own country) and the USA (by cultural osmosis).
Still, the legal burden on the grandparents to get access to their grandkids seems sufficiently high. It’s far cry from the idea many people seem to have of grandparents’ rights, i.e. the right of the grandparenta to see their grandkids supercedes that of the parents to control whom the kids interact with.
Four provinces, Quebec, British Columbia, Alberta and New Brunswick, as well as Yukon, have legislation specifically providing for grandparent access. Other provincial legislation as well as the federal Divorce Act allow for access applications by people other than parents without explicitly mentioning grandparents.
US (also from the above link): Grandparents can petition for visitation but it had to be in the best interest of the child, i.e. established relationship plus other factors. “Fit” parents are generally given the right to decide.
If you read the article, it’s mostly about visitation to maintain an existing relationship after a divorce, rather than mandating visits between toxic grandparents and their grandkids above the objections of the parents.
Yeah, between my family we will probably vote for at least 5 different UK parties. We have even had conversations about politics briefly, but nothing that upsets anyone. Even accusations of all the children/grand children being communists are something to laugh about.
My partners family is more mixed. Certainly a few who could get very angry about it. But still no one under 40 would be angry if I said I was going to vote green, reform or even restore. Though they might take the piss out of you if you intended to vote restore.
After your post, I took a look and was shocked at how useful it was. But then inevitably disappointed when an upcoming story was to ban kratom across the country. 🙄
I’d bet ‘grandparents rights’ are part of it.
Edit: I have made a fool of myself. It’s actually surprisingly reasonable.
Yeah, the advice looks to be surprisingly decent!
That comment section on the other hand definitely has a lot of people who’ve been cut off in it (or need to be)!
Over half the top comments definitely sound toxic
Also, bleakly laughing at the US section of topics at bottom of the page. So disconnected from reality.
Gotta keep their readers brainwashed and scared!
Now THAT’S what I would expect from Fox News minions.
Its really not.
Its just like, “try to listen.”
Except the real solution they don’t present is “maybe have introspection about how you became a hate monger Nazi from watching Fox News lies constantly and that might be why your child hates you.”
Actually listening is the first step few take.
https://issendai.com/psychology/estrangement/missing-missing-reasons/
Most cut off parents have been told repeatedly what they’re doing wrong
Its still tip toeing around the real issue here.
You are assuming it’s the only reason people cut off their parents.
To the child, or to more Fox News?
ooh. Yeah ok of course. Is that a real thing ?
edit:
ok it is a real thing. I’m a parent. I’d never wondered about this because my relationship with my parents is ok. I mean they’re nutty conservatives but they’re smart enough not to say anything about it.
Setting aside cases of abuse and neglect. It’s kind of weird to think that someone other than myself and my partner can have a say in who my child has to spend time with.
I think it would be an up-hill battle for my parents in my jurisdiction for example. I think they would need to establish that it’s in the child’s best interest to have a meaningful relationship with them, and they might struggle to do that.
Grandparents’ rights are not what many people seem think they are. It’s not a court ordering a couple to let estranged/toxic grandparents have access to their grandkids above the objections of the parents.
Rather, it is adjusting custody arrangements during separation/divorce so that grandparents can maintain an existing relationship wth their grandkids. For example, if a couple is separating and the mother gains primary custody, the father’s parents can apply to get visitation rights with the kids. It’s not automatic, as they would have to meet the burden of, “in the best interest of the children,” to the satisfaction of the judge.
Disclaimer: I am not a lawyer, but this is my understanding of the issue from reading discussions and papers (including the one linked in another post in this thread).
In my jurisdiction I think that’s only partially true.
Firstly, it’s also true here that the outcome needs to be “in the best interest of the child”, and that’s critical.
However, it’s not only cases where the child’s parents have had a relationship breakdown, but is applicable to cases where the child’s parents are estranged from the grandparents:
https://www.legalaid.wa.gov.au/sites/default/files/inline-files/Grandparents_family_law.PDF
So it’s not a law that would regularly enable grandparents to corrupt children against the wishes of the child’s parents.
Additionally, I suspect that parenting orders may be able to require supervised access, or restrict them from participating in religious ceremonies and that kind of thing.
Right, I’m mostly familiar with Canada (my own country) and the USA (by cultural osmosis).
Still, the legal burden on the grandparents to get access to their grandkids seems sufficiently high. It’s far cry from the idea many people seem to have of grandparents’ rights, i.e. the right of the grandparenta to see their grandkids supercedes that of the parents to control whom the kids interact with.
Canada:
US (also from the above link): Grandparents can petition for visitation but it had to be in the best interest of the child, i.e. established relationship plus other factors. “Fit” parents are generally given the right to decide.
Not sure about other places.
That’s horrifying considering how many grandparents likely don’t have access due to their own abusive or toxic personalities.
If you read the article, it’s mostly about visitation to maintain an existing relationship after a divorce, rather than mandating visits between toxic grandparents and their grandkids above the objections of the parents.
I think that’s how it breaks down here in West Aus.
Yeah, between my family we will probably vote for at least 5 different UK parties. We have even had conversations about politics briefly, but nothing that upsets anyone. Even accusations of all the children/grand children being communists are something to laugh about.
My partners family is more mixed. Certainly a few who could get very angry about it. But still no one under 40 would be angry if I said I was going to vote green, reform or even restore. Though they might take the piss out of you if you intended to vote restore.
After your post, I took a look and was shocked at how useful it was. But then inevitably disappointed when an upcoming story was to ban kratom across the country. 🙄