I know this is gonna sound like the “Where exactly, so I can avoid it” meme, but I’m sincerely trying to avoid it.

I am pretty physically active, and get massage every six months or so. I have a massage therapist I usually go to, but every once in a while it’s an emergency and my go-to is booked up, so I get a sketchy strip mall massage.

About half the time it ends with a happy ending attempt. Not that I’m against the concept, but I refuse to pay for sexual contact on principle. Also that cuts into the time spent on the actual massage I came in for, and pressures me into a huge tip for something I don’t actually want.

At the same time, I don’t want to assume. It seems pretty rude to start off with “I know you’re gonna wanna give me a handjob but I’m not interested”. So is there some kind of standard “initiation” ritual that I can turn down when it comes up?

  • HotDayBreeze@lemmy.world
    45·
    16 hours ago

    There’s some clear clues on which venues are happy ending parlors.

    • Avoid places with completely curtained windows. At least the lobby area should be visible to the public.

    • Seek out places that refer to “massage therapists”. Avoid “masseuse” or “massage parlor”.

    • The “crystal healing” “sound bath” hippy dippy places might try to sell you mushrooms but they are less likely to grab your dick.

    • Avoid cash only places, they are trying to hide paper trails. Even if you’re paying out of pocket, any place that accepts insurance isn’t offering a “secret menu” .

    • Low stated prices might mean they get by on big handy-based tips. They’re cheap for a reason. Medium priced places are just charging for normal services.

    • Check what kind of person is in their online reviews. If it’s a middle aged man talking about how beautiful the “girls” are, skip. If it’s a Karen complaining about how they used CBD oil, it’s probably fine.

    • Strip malls in general seem to attract this business niche, too. I’m not sure why.

    If you’re normally comfortable getting a massage naked, consider keeping your underwear on for your first visit with a new practitioner.