Bout to get clapped with my cheeks out.

Zardoz Zord.
Love me some Sean Connery in thigh highs!
While they don’t look alike at all, he reminded me of Borat in the green bikini.
NSFW please! I was not! ready for this
and some eye bleach
Velcro thigh holster FTW
Also keeping a blunderbuss by the stairs.
Most American post of all time
Is that a gun in your pocket, or are you just happy to see me?
ER… Code brown!.. Another left ass cheek with a bullet hole!
You don’t jam the barrel into your urethra?
It’s already occupied with the cocktail stirrer
So you bring a small cannon…
I just go back to sleep. Never figured a noise in the house to be anything other than the house, shit falling, or a rodent. All stuff I’m not getting up for and definitely not finding a weapon for.
It has backfired, though. Once, about 30 years ago, a bicycle got taken from the front lawn. That should’ve been a bullet in someone’s head as justice, of course.





