I cannot describe the visceral level of aversion I have to mainstream shit. It doesn’t matter if the show is the best thing on earth, if the general public knows about it (And I don’t mean the internet I mean the general public) then I refuse to watch or partake in it. I have no idea why and it genuinely kills me to be like this and I have no idea why.
It prevents me from joining most fandoms nowadays unless the fandom is super niche. Things like Hotel Hazbin, Star Wars, The Office, K-pop (in general), Kpop Demon Hunters, most popular anime… WHY. WHY AM I LIKE THIS?? Is anyone else like this? Even people just mentioning “Oh yeah I love One Piece, you should watch it sometimes” makes me go “Oh fuck nah I’m good” as if the damn show was a personal insult. I feel like a stuck-up prick when I do this but I genuinely can’t control it, why???
You could try ignoring the fandom and enjoy it by yourself.
Obviously not every popular fandom is worth this, but some are, and you can avoid the nastiness or weird obsessions of the fandom thst way.
No one will really be able to answer that question but you, but other people can make suggestions for consideration that may help you find the answer. I would suggest spending time with the feeling and approaching it like a puzzle. Is your repulsion to a thing proportional to it’s popularity or does it not make a difference until it reaches some threshold? What in your mind makes a thing popular? Does it make a difference if you found out it was only popular with people you know but not popular in the larger community? What about the inverse? Do you care about what is popular to other distant cultures/languages that you will probably never interact with?
This may or may not lead to you finding the answer of “why”, but it can help you better understand the dimensions of your personal quirk.
Other people’s responses were good, and may have helped you. But there’s another, less complimentary angle. You can decide if it’s relevant to you.
You may have learned too boost your self-esteem by looking down on popular media and selecting things that are not popular, to some extent because they are not popular.
It’s an easy trap to fall into, but only you can decide if that’s what you have done.
I an absolutely guilty of this. I was a strange boy and I leaned into it. Sea shanties and suits, but there no way I was trying too hard. It was those other sheep.
I have tried to be conscious of the flaw since I became aware of it. Marvel movies are okay. It’s not a character deficit to have fun watching a sporting event.
I suppose I have. But it’s not a conscious feeling, it feels like an unconscious one. It’s a weird feeling between my heart and my brain and it permeates the rest of my body until I can change the subject. That’s why I say it’s a visceral reaction.
Kpop Demon Hunters looks interesting but god damn if I had to choose between watching that and running full force into a brick wall id rather run into the brick wall. Like it makes me uncomfortable to wanna watch popular stuff. The more popular it is the worse the feeling.
K-pop Demon Hunters irks me especially cus, I’m not gonna lie— Them Korean boys be hot asf, and now you’re adding DEMONS to the mix? like— girl I cant be doin this shit, fuck no, its like they’re just trying to entice me and god damn it I refuse to let it happen 😭😭😭 K-pop almost hooked me in middle school I ain’t gonna let it happen again 😩
Maybe you could approach it slightly differently. K-pop demon hunters maybe a fine show, or movie, or whatever it is, but there are other ones just as good, maybe even better, that haven’t received worldwide publicity. Don’t reject the popular mainstream things, but intentionally seek out gems that haven’t got a media empire behind them.
I haven’t been to a large concert for many years, but I am absolutely delighted to attend concerts by local and indie artists. The intimacy of a small show, and the ability to talk to performers before or afterwards, makes it a very different experience. A large concert is more of the group think, ecstatic evangelical experience.
What’s your feeling on ads? This reads exactly like how I feel about ads, and it’s because I know I’m being manipulated. And anything popular must be exploiting our brains similarly as well right?
I’m no expert, but this sounds like a learned response reinforced by the fact that most popular things genuinely aren’t high quality, that it’s easy to transfer the negative feelings associated with ads onto their subjects, that most people’s opinions (at least as usually expressed) are pretty shallow and often not more substantive than ads themselves, and maybe a dozen other smaller things.
The only thing I can think to suggest is exposure therapy, finding and experiencing popular things that you actually end up liking and/or opinions about popular things that are more substantive. For me, this would look like:
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Forcing myself to watch popular things I’ve already identified as things I’ll probably like, and just powering through any aversion.
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Picking a piece of media I like, finding reviewers who seem genuine and have good things to say about that thing, looking at other things they’ve recommended that might be more popular, then watching those things.
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Watching video essays about popular things that more thoroughly defend what’s intelligent, creative, underappreciated, etc. about them.
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With the excessive amount of capitalism, manipulation of population and advertising. It’s the same for me. The more mainstream the more I question is it because they mean manipulated to watch it and advertise it in some way or is it because they genuinely like it.
Not everyone is this way I know but so much people are like “omg this show is the best ever” and the show is just not good in any way but everywhere online and all the articles and shit say it’s a perfect show.
Basically when someone says a show is good I ask them what specifically is good about it. If they don’t have a good response then I just don’t
I don’t like a lot of generic stuff that’s basically repeating of older shows. I like interesting and in-depth shows. Not just copy pasted with different actors and slightly different things.
This is all my own personal opinion about it though.
Also why the fuck do a lot of mainstream stuff is just secretly racist or fucking anti human. Like everyone loved the new Spider-Man movie that came out when it had several scenes that was just advertising or straight up manipulation.
Anyways yeah the more popular something is the more I question “is it because it’s good or did marketing on it really do well for it?”
i’m autistic, not ADHD. But yeah I feel.this exactly.
I had a realization about this in the last band I was in. All of my friends and my musical network had fallen apart as we grew up do I turned to Craigslist for months. I found a band and joined. The singer who also wrote most of the music moved away, so we changed names and I took over both of those duties too.
Before, I had formed my taste with my friends, and we formed bands together. This was different- we all had our own tastes relatively established, and I was trying to find the overlap that we all liked. We also wanted to play live, so for the first time in my life I was also writing to try to please audiences rather than just do what I wanted.
What worked? Being bland as fuck. All of the little weird quirks that I found interesting were rough edges that needed to be smoothed off for accessibility. It is the difference between art and a product.
Most TV shows and movies are huge productions that cost millions of dollars to produce. There are some people involved who are trying to be artists, who actually have vision and creativity they are trying tk share with the world. But there are also executives trying to monetize it, trying to get a return on that investment. With TV shows in particular they often keep characters around and keep trying tk make new seasons not for the sake of art but for the sake of employment.
I find smaller productions more interesting. YouTube used to be good, and maybe still has some good content but the platform is terrible.
Not as strongly as you, but yes, I have a strong aversion to popular media. I didnt used to be that way but somewhere in my adulthood that changed (I’m 45 now).
The more people try to sell me on a show, game, movie etc the less I want to interact with it. I still dont have a solid reason for why but there’s a few ideas (for me at least): 1 I don’t like watching stuff WITH people as I feel self conscious that they will be watching me and my reactions. 2 I’m not interested in discussing the things I enjoy with others. I just dont participate in Fandoms. I just want to take in the experiences and enjoy them for what they are. 3 People recommending stuff can take a really pushy turn and it can become a prickly topic if you don’t take their advice (whether you asked for it or not). 4 Fans can zealously hype their media and create expectations that aren’t lived up to in the consumption. Just comes down to we like that we like and it’s not the same for everyone.
All very well put.
I wonder if you also find that media painfully predictable, especially
at your agegiven your experience. (😁)I couldn’t stand most popukar shows when I was 20 - they were transparently emotional bait, and that just isn’t compelling to me.
I suspect OP is reacting to that some - the more popular a media is, the less complex it’s going to be - that’s just fundamental. And when it’s insufficiently complex it appears the same as any other pop thing.
This is especially noticeable with music.
From the emotional angle, ADHD’ers generally have a less functional emotional gap between an experience and internal emotional reaction than a neurotypical. It doesn’t feel good watching such claptrap.
Because most mainstream shit is terrible by default, and you don’t want to be associated with that or enjoy things that are objectively shit.
The only issue is there are some mainstream things that are actually good.
Junji Ito was the absolute SHIT when i first found out about it, and then Hot Topic started pushing a buncha merch for it and now you just have these lame ass posers walking around with Tomie hoodies not even knowing who tf Tomie is. It was at that moment I just stopped reading Junji Ito all together. LIKE WHY?? I loved his books!!! What makes things different now??
I think it’s just that I’m afraid that I’ll end up enjoying it. Like some of the mainstream shit looks interesting(?) The Amazing Digital Circus is one that piqued my interest for a few seconds, I remember watching some out-of-order episodes of One Piece before anime became mainstream and I liked it.
Another fear I have is that it’ll make me easier to be advertised to or make me more vulnerable to falling into trends/merch or whatever. Im scared that if I do watch K-pop Demon Hunters and enjoy it, then like— I dont know how to put it into words, but It’ll make me apart of that mindless mainstream crowd that’ll just give any brand their money regardless of what they’re selling because “POPULAR BRAND I LIKE IS DOING A COLLAB WITH KPOP TEEHEE” I dont wanna give these shitass corporations my money, but I also wanna be able to enjoy something and know what other people are talking about when they reference popular things.
I just dunno how to put it into words… It’s as if the aura of the people that surround all these shows and movies makes me wanna subtract my head and limbs into my body like a turtle from how bad it makes me cringe
I think you’re doing the right thing. There’s a reason zombie movies got so popular haha! Just adjust your responses to something less confrontational to the person, like “I’m not the target audience I guess”
I have a strong aversion to popular stuff too. Not as extreme as you , but for example I watched breaking bad 8 years after it came out and I was like damn that was good. I just couldn’t watch it while everyone else went on and on about it.
Never have liked most popular music unless its from an earlier era. I can’t name 1 new popular song from today. Ive been like this since I was 6.
Never liked new games everyone went on and on about graphics when I was little and I’m like, I dont care , new games suck.
I’m better now at being receptive. But I still cringe.
If someone suggests something I’ve already heard of, it’s unlikely I’ll even bother checking it out. But if Ive never heard of it, I’ll do at least a cursory search on what it’s about, what it’s like.
Like, oh really? Another person suggests breaking bad? Wowww it must be so good! No. I saw the first two episodes and moved on years before you trying to get me to push through it. But if I’ve never heard of it, I’ll listen to their pitch and maybe I’ll check it out, maybe I won’t. But at my age I know what I like, and don’t.
My buddy is a big cinephile and loves every movie it seems. I don’t trust his suggestions at all anymore. He also pushes every new anime in existence, despite know I absolutely despise anime of all sorts. It’s all the same. Substitute aliens or super powered fighters for demons, it doesn’t matter. It’s exactly the same. It’s all formulaic.
I feel the strong discomfort with popular things and and almost compulsive need to avoid them, but I’ve never felt i was missing anything.
It can be frustrating to run into so few people who understand my taste / break free of conformity, but that’s their failing, not mine. 🙃
Are Hazbin Hotel and K-Pop Demon Hunters “mainstream”? I’m vaguely aware of them but I feel like I’ve only heard about them in nerd-adjacent spaces. Maybe I’m too out of touch to know what counts as mainstream.
All of the people I know who still like Star Wars are fanfiction writers who are obsessed with the prequel era, do normal people still actually watch the new content?
At least kpop demon hunters is everywhere, go to a grocery store and you’ll see big displays of products themed around kpop demon hunters. The song Golden gets played a lot.
Netflix has a strong marketing push.
I think it’s a generational thing.
I just get to things decades late lol
I think I have something similar but not quite the same, for me I think a lot of it is that it feels like there’s a lot of emotional potential in engaging with something everyone already has big feelings about. What if I have big feelings about it and then I have big feelings? What if I don’t, and then I’m just on the outside??
And I just find all that possibility a bit aversive so I just wait until everything dies down and then go try it after dragging my feet for 15 years :)
Yes, kinda.
I try to avoid mainstream English-language music, the stuff with hundreds of millions or billions of plays, and I try to seek out the smaller, underloved, good stuff, from anywhere in the world, and share that stuff with my friends and at my quiz show. I don’t think I’m a hipster; I don’t gatekeep people away from the music I find and like. I want them to hear it!
If you want to hear some music I’ve discovered recently, I’ll offer up Wishy, Angine de Poitrine, Chase Petra, Kaede Hirata, Suzane, and Fhalomir!
Going to a wedding and hearing 100 songs that I’ve heard 100 times before, but have never voluntarily played on my own equipment.
I can’t speak to why you feel what you feel but if it’s the feeling I’m thinking of - it’s because you tend to define yourself by what you “know” or “have experienced”. If you become familiar with a piece of media like One Piece or Star Wars it becomes a part of you, defining to who you are as a person. If nothing else, you’ve spent some portion of your life consuming that thing and you’ll never get that life back - life that you could have spent doing something else more unique and worthy of the image you build of yourself in your head.
I recommend letting this feeling go as best as you can; it’s very freeing.
