I’ll try and keep it universal.

Don’t do stocks short term, if you want to invest before having money, go for an ETF savings plan (some money every month into the same ETF) and maybe something your government co-funds.

You can buy stocks once it doesn’t hurt and you can hold them with no issues. But ETF are good and safe.

Find what comes easy to you, invest in that. You’re good with people? Great, so work with them. If you’re cool with having conflict with them, gain some knowledge in a field where they need you to say “No” professionally and reap the benefits (Auditors aren’t poor people, neither are managers). If you’re not a conflict person, maybe you enjoy Sales, if you fall in-between, project management may work for you. If you’re a technician go be a technician, you’ll always complain but never be poor and usually you’ll enjoy the complaining. Or maybe there’s a trade that you can really enjoy, that’s great too.

Important is that you don’t have to try hard to hit the basic goals every day, there should be some ease in what you do, cause you can’t always be at 100%.

Talking about 100%:

80% is enough. It’s fine to stretch for the ceiling, but keep in mind that it’s a stretch. It’s okay to not reach it, you’re not a worse person for it, you’re a better person for trying.

“Fake it, till you make it” works, but you have to be ready to make some mistakes. They happen to everyone, you’re not alone. And it also works if you want to be happier or wiser or just a little more fit. Just keep at it, if you occasionally drop the ball, pick it back up and keep going. Each time you pick it back up, you learned something new.

Last and most important:

You as a human being don’t need to do or be anything to be whole and complete and worthy of love. You’re fine just the way you are.

That doesn’t mean you should stop trying to be who you want to be, it just means that your value isn’t determined by money or business achievements. There’s joy in progression, go get what you want, just don’t measure your value by that.

Manifestation is bullshit.

Don’t trade your money away. Open a Traditional and Roth IRA, put some money in those accounts for retirement, and don’t touch it. You’ll literally be penalized if you do.

If you have parents, loved ones, or even for yourself: Prepare a trust. Don’t wait until you or anyone is on your deathbed to make those arrangements. It may seem insignificant now, but even the smallest item you possess will need to be disputed if you die, so don’t make that a hassle for any future children or your relatives. And don’t worry, trust are flexible, you have the final say, so make as many changes to it as you need to. As fractured as the relationship with my father was, him prepping a will, trust, advanced medical directive and a memorandum made inheriting his possessions much less of a hassle than it would’ve been otherwise.

Don’t put all your eggs in one basket when it comes to a career. Be flexible with your skillset and be willing to work the smaller jobs just to get experience and some money, even if they don’t align with your big career plans, because they’ll still offer experience that you can carry with you. I’m a year and a half out of work because I put all my eggs into IT and Data Analysis.

Make sure you’re in a good headspace before jumping into a relationship. Take it at your own pace. Most importantly, be upfront with your partner about what you want out of the relationship, whether it’s a one-night stand, or a long-term relationship. And make sure you both communicate what you want. I only had five months of dating experience back in high school, and my most recent relationship ended after a week because I was so desperately acting on signs that weren’t there, which led me to ignoring my own boundaries and hurting my ex because I was two-faced.

Make sure to set boundaries and protect yourself above all else. You’re no good to anyone if you’re no good to yourself. Take time to recharge. If you’re not feeling up to something physically, emotionally or mentally, it’s okay to cancel or step back. Just don’t make a habit of it. As a people pleaser, I would overload my plate with saying yes to nearly everyone and everything, trying to be the “nice guy” or “helpful steward” when I was really allowing myself to be strung along because I couldn’t say no. Learning to say “no” is so important for yourself and for those you love.

more curious how you actually get into a good headspace and stay there day to day

Anything you can do to take care of yourself and get what you need helps with this, cooking for yourself, getting enough sleep, getting exercise, spending time in nature, spending time with people, cleaning, etc. Aside from the direct benefits of things that make you healthier, the experience of the act is a tangible reassurance that you are there for yourself, so don’t buy into an idea that it isn’t worthwhile.

Also if you like anime at all one that I liked where the theme is 20s life advice is The Tatami Galaxy

What I thought mattered at the time: Opinions of other people
What actually mattered: My own opinions

People expected me to borrow money, buy a house, get married, travel the world etc. I didn’t actually want to do any of those. Well, eventually I did screw up, got stuck in that situation for years, but now I’m finally free again. Phew. 😌

If I could send a message back in time to a 20 year old me it would be this:
You may not be entirely sure about what you do want, but you certainly know what you don’t want. Let the latter guide you. When people expect you to do something you don’t want, don’t do it. Peer pressure in this context is just annoying noise, nothing more. You shouldn’t make life-altering things unless you’re really sure about it. It isn’t enough that everyone else has done it and expects you to follow suit. Contrary to many cultural norms, the people around you don’t actually always know what’s good for you.

is manifestation, just assuming “paths” open up for you in life without effort. ive seen that in other forums, where people end up complaining about it?

When reality challenges your ideology, engage with the challenge in earnest. It’s okay to be unwise and ignorant in your early 20s, but if with time you did not gain wisdom and experience, you’re gonna have a very bad time going forward. By the time you’re in your 30s, you should be able to encapsulate and verbally explain what you believe in, both about the universe as a whole and about yourself.

Stick to your word as well as you can.

Being good is more important than being comfortable.

Don’t let fear stop you from trying to reach your goals, many times whatever you’re afraid of is simply not real or not as bad. And yes, this includes talking to women.

Also, if you’re always chasing money, you’ll lose your humanity. Remember it should just be a tool, a means to an end and not the end by itself, else you’ll become an empty shell of a person, a resource hog or even a hedonistic monster.

Finally, always take the high road and let the guilt following actions taken in moments of poor character wash over you. If you don’t let it stay with you, if you run from accountability, you will just become a dangerous child.

PS: You’re too old (like, maybe a decade and a half too old) and probably have too much testosterone to believe in “manifestation”. Might as well wait for Christmas and write a letter to Santa. You just do your best and hope for the best (for the sake of your emotional stability AND to give yourself the best chances to accomplish what you set out to do).

You’re asking the right question at least. It’s about persistent effective action, what kills that is motivation.

If daily affirmations or visualizing a goal keeps you motivated, great. I went through about 6 months of job hunting last year, doing literally anything but writing apps helped me clear my head so when I started again I got into a rhythm more easily.

I think it’s just important to track your progress. What have you attempted, what is the status of things you’re currently trying etc will help you determine if whatever you’re doing to stay motivated is working and if not you know you need to change your approach.

I wish someone had told me index funds only, forget trading, just grind compound interest for decades.

Also: lift barbells, floss, read more doom-scroll less.

There’s no magic answer. My best advice having wasted half my life trying to accomplish what seemed like a “good life” I ended up nearly broke and divorced with almost nothing but suffering to show for my time.

Now I pursue what makes me happy and only try to be as successful as I need to be so that I can keep doing what makes me happy. One day I’ll be dead, and then whatever pile of shit I accumulated will be unceremoniously thrown in the trash by a distant relative. But if I can build something or help someone, then that’s what I feel like doing with my time. Its not hedonism but its sort of a disengage ment from the rat race. Im not trying to get rich or gain power, I’m trying to relax and enjoy my life and help people while I can.

Manifestation doesn’t work. Planning and then taking consistent steps towards your goals does however

In your 20s the stock market is for leaving a bunch of money in in the hopes you don’t have to see it for a long time.

Fun is important, go socialize and hang out with peers. I’ll keep you sane and it’s how you wind up married if that’s your thing.

And the headspace you want is discipline. It’s “I need to do this so I can have what matters to me” not some magical thinking of "if I think of myself as rich money will flow to me. The only way that works is by bluffing your way into places money is and making people think you belong.

Most importantly though you’re at an important age to listen to one of my favorite quotes from Iroh in Avatar “It’s time for you to look inward, and start asking yourself the big questions. Who are you? And what do you want?”

if you havent read Reminisces of a Stock Operator, do so

and remember the most important rule…buy low, sell high

speculating is like farting, if you have to force it it’s probably shit. being nervous about a trade likely means your either oversized/not managing risk properly or there is some underlying doubt to whatever thesis underpins that particular gamble.

“scalping liquidity/volatility” on an intraday basis should really only be done on the most liquid indexes within the opening hour/hour and a half, via futures (safer if you mistime/don’t set a stop, and gets better tax treatment but requires higher initial capital)/short-dated options on ETF’s like QQQ (do not hold these shits outside opening hour, these should be 5-15m trades, buy low sell high. cannot say that enough)…trying to trade “momentum” on individual tickers is just really not worth the effort/risk, trust me.

scalping volatilty is just for paying the bills though, the best $ comes from identifying solid swing trades with longer timeframes and buying solid companies while they’re cheap/beaten down and holding them for a long time.

also, your basically actively giving yourself a gambling addiction if you do it daily… from the author of that book

the desire for constant action irrespective of underlying conditions is responsible for many losses on Wallstreet even among professionals, who feel like they must take home some money every day as though they were working for regular wages

the entire point to figuring out how the casino works is to free yourself up from needing to work a job, obviously watching/worrying about charts all day isnt fulfilling though. volunteer your time to something impactful locally, work on a passion project etc. live life, if you’ve figured out a (backtested) edge to the market you have beaten the first fucked up level that is capitilism

I’m turning 40 in a few days, heres my advice based on my own failures and some successes.

WORK

Don’t pursue something you love as a hobby, because you will stop loving it as work. Exceptions to this are if you’re naturally good at it AND it’s traditionally a high paying field. For example, as a little kid, the weekly newspaper had a section containing house floor plans for sale. I used to take that instead of the comics, and id ‘mark’ them, pointing out what was good, and what was shit, and I drew hundreds and hundreds of my own house plans in meticulous detail as a 10-year old. I should have studied to be an architect. I would have lost passion for it, but at least I would have been naturally talented at it, which would have made my job easier, and therefore life happier.

If you are naturally talented at illustration, writing or another art, don’t pursue that as work. Your passion for it will be destroyed and you won’t be successful making a career of it. Instead, find something you’re naturally okay at, and do that as a career. The only way to do this is by trying tons of hobbies, and losing interest in them. A lot of people pick up hobbies and lose interest and think they are wasting their time and failing. That’s not true, they are learning about themselves. Keep on finding and trying new hobbies. You’re not failing at them, you’re auditioning them for the role, and most wont make the cut.

If you find that you pick up electronics easily, perhaps you should be an electrical engineer. If you can fix cars really well, shoot for diesel engineer. If you like boats, then maybe maritime engineering. If you are naturally very attentive to detail, like to be organised, and can convince people of things with your words, maybe consider lawyering. If you enjoy sculpting, then welding or civil engineering would be a good fit. If you love talking to people, socialising, making friends, doing banter, then there are a range of things that might suit you, Real Estate, public relations, sales rep. If you are of moderate to high intelligence and still aren’t sure, choose a trade, like electrician, gas plumber, HVAC, solar tech, baker, butcher, cheesemonger. These have low barrier to entry, you can get paid to learn, and will always be an excellent backup option, and as a moderately intelligent person, you’re going to already be in an advantageous position and will excel in the field.

Which brings me to backup options. Don’t put all your efforts into one industry. As we see with the rise of AI decimating the software development industry, you can do everything right and still lose. I happened into this mindset accidentally. I started my working career as a metal worker machinist at 17. Then I started welding, and did that for 5 years. Then I went into the tech field as an IT grunt, on-call service tech in the hospital industry (nightmare), then I got into software engineering, then software design. During this transition I studied a completely unrelated degree at uni that is applicable to some rather specific government jobs and also worked weekends as a machine operator for an arborist and got my truck and EWP license. In a roundabout way, I became an architect by accident, just of software rather than houses. But if that went tits up tomorrow, I could easily get a job as a machine operator the following day, which paid almost as much, and I could look for a job as a welder, or machinist, or look for a job in the government sector I mentioned. I could even get a job in a bar because I have experience there and a liquor serving permit. Keep your options open, which leads me to:

EDUCATION

No matter how bare ass broke you get, education is the one thing the bank and repo men can’t repossess. This makes it a good investment. As mentioned above, either study something you’re naturally pretty good at and has prospects of a well paying job, or study something that definitively gives you options if your first plan goes sideways. It could be a uni degree, or a trade, or a certificate, just get something. Yeah it takes 2-4 years and that seems like a long time, but my dude, life goes on so much longer than that afterwards. The reason I didn’t study architecture was because 4 years seemed like an eternity when I was 20, and I was afraid I would lose interest in it. If I had known that, yes I’ll lose interest in it as a hobby and end up disliking it just like any other job, BUT I’ll find it easy because I’m naturally good at it, this would have changed my whole mindset. Make your working life easier.

Education doesn’t stop at university. Where possible, get employers to upskill you. If they won’t, do it yourself. Occupational First aid, forklift license (unironically despite the meme, I drive a forklift sometimes in my day job as a software architect when the warehouse staff are all absent, and it’s so much fun), truck license, alcohol serving permit, chainsaw safety, EWP, Hiab crane, open cabling (network and telecoms), whatever piques your interest. Some of these are required licenses, and others are just optional training, but both types are useful. These sorts of courses take a couple of days, cost a couple hundred bucks, but you’ll have the education for life. You might even find a new thing you’re naturally good at or meet fun people. Have I used my boat skippers license once since I got it? No, but it was a hella fun way to spend a weekend and $200.

SEX AND RELATIONSHIPS

Holy hell this one is a resource drain if you let it be. Boys, girls, gay, straight, nobi, trans, Polytechnic, only the Aroace get a reprieve from this one, and even for them, there is much to be lost here.

Sex doesn’t matter, and it won’t make you happy over any sort of timescale. Sex is like doing a whippet in the backseat of your friends hyundai behind a closed gas station, you’ll feel nice for 10 minutes before the regret sets in and you ask “What the fuck am I doing with my life?” Before doing another whippet to escape the shame. Unfortunately sex is a base biological imperative for most people, and it will make them stupid things. I’m not immune to that, but with age, I have developed through experience and exposure some resistance towards the impulse to do dumb shit and squander money for that next whippet.

A fulfilling relationship has many facets, and sex is one of them, but a small one, and in some cases the sex facet can be a barrier to success of a fulfilling relationship if expectations are not aligned or honestly is not being practiced. My advice on relationships might be controversial, but you should not be seeking someone who makes you happy or someone who completes you. It’s not someone else’s job to fill in gaps in your life that are lacking or that you haven’t or aren’t willing to work on. Each person should bring to the relationship the whole of themselves without expectation of getting a crutch to lean on, because this leads to asymmetry, unmet expectation, and resentment. An asymmetry might develop or become apparent, and that’s ok, but it is then the responsibility of the person with the weakness to work on improving themselves and the responsibility of the.person being leaned on to communicate expectations and boundaries. If one person loses a job and becomes financially dependent on the other, that isn’t a reason to end a relationship , in fact it can strengthen a relationship and spur personal growth on both sides, learning humility, gratitude, strength, compassion. But if that dynamic lasts a long time, or if the unemployed person doesn’t make any effort to reduce their dependency, then resentment will seep in.

I recommend this short read, The Abilene Paradox, to better understand expectation, resentment and what happens in interpersonal relationships when honesty is missing:

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Abilene_paradox

DRUGS

Try them if you want, but recognise their hazards and your own weaknesses. Most of my friends were heavy drug users, including cocaine, meth, and heroin, most were alcoholics. All of us are over 30 now, and all of us are clean and sober, and happier for it. If you think you’re becoming habitual or dependent on a drug, try to catch it early, go to a meeting, talk to a psych, read trip reports for 8 hours, whatever you can do to build your own awareness and cognizance of its dynamic in your life. Again, this will be an unpopular opinion, but if you thing you are even slightly dependent on alcohol, don’t wait 15 years, get help right away. It doesn’t have to be an AA meeting, but they are free after all. Detox and Rehab is very expensive.

Lastly, the world is not going to end, even though it feels like it will. I felt that way all my life. Why bother committing to anything when the only useful skill I’ll need is scavenging food scraps and hiding from roving bands of cannibals in a radioactive wasteland. It took surviving multiple once-in-a-lifetime catastrophes to realise “oh, the world’s going to keep on going, and it’s going to drag me with it if I don’t walk.” Don’t let the deep apathy in forever, dip your toes in if you need to, but then get on with your day.

Hope that helps in some way. I have a lot of regret in my life, but most of it is either repairable or teachable. Its ok to look back, but it’s rude to stare.

Don’t do trading. Unless you’ve got millions you’re spending hours making dollars, if you win more than you lose at all. It’s fine if it’s a hobby but treat it as such.

Manifesting: does not work outside of your head. If it gets you in a good mental state then by all means do it. Being in a good mental state is just about all that matters.

What worked for me: buy and hold. Find people you like being around. Figure out why you like being around them and try to be more like them.

Stop with the trading. Get sensible investments like index funds in a 401k or something. You can’t simply manifest something. If it helps you to have mantras to repeat that’s awesome and can be helpful to some people, but you have to actually live those words. Manifest it through your actions.

Manifestation doesn’t work.

You set goals and work towards them. Discipline, work and the ability to learn from your mistakes will take you further than wishing on a star.