Sigh. I don’t know where to start or what do I need to ask here even at all.

So, I have joined a new workplace and I just don’t know how to interact with people. Most of the time I don’t feel the energy to interact. But being shutdown feels not very socially acceptable behavior nor I feel it would do any good to me.

First two weeks, I didn’t talk with anyone at all. Only one or two interactions here and there that’s about it. After I did manage to get into small group of employees who’ve joined recently and they allowed me to join their social circle.

At this point, I thought I was gonna be okay and will improve at socialising. But even after a month, I still feel this feeling of being subhuman level at socialising. I feel so different, I feel so not normal. I feel everyone are just better at socialising. They got this nailed down somewhere down their lives but somehow I just missed it.

I just don’t know what to do. I don’t have confidence in my voice either so most of the time I try to end conversations with few words. Idk anything really.

Edit: Wow, I didn’t expect this much reception to this post especially since it was very messy how I explained my problem. But you guys surprised me, haha. Thank you all for your advice. I’m reading every one of your replies! I love this community.

  • zerozaku@lemmy.worldOPEnglish
    15·
    6 days ago

    I do that if a person wants to have a conversation with me. But real problem comes when they don’t initiate a conversation or when more people are involved.

    When more people get involved I just shutdown, I only listen and barely add anything to the conversation.

    When a person I know comes around me and doesn’t initiate, I feel awkward I just don’t say anything and ignore them which I feel is giving off a very rude image to them, but I can’t help. “I’m not the extrovert between us why don’t you initiate :(” is only thing I think of there.

    • FernMD@lemmy.ml
      2·
      4 days ago

      Try to allow yourself to be genuinely curious about the other person, and to show them that, and ask questions about what you’re curious about. Social interactions are about both the listener and the talker and if you can allow yourself to be vulnerable and share what you are actually feeling it really helps, but it also helps to be interested in them and what they are feeling and thinking. So trying to be curious is often a good go to.

    • mad_lentil@lemmy.caEnglish
      6·
      6 days ago

      I dunno i don’t have all the context but I think you’re too hard on yourself. That’s a pretty typical interaction between two introverts standing around the kettle or something.

    • 52fighters@lemmy.sdf.orgEnglish
      13·
      7 days ago

      I would recommend scheduling a one-on-one lunch together. At lunch, think of yourself as a news reporter who needs to find all about this person. Where are they from? What was their family like? Why do they work here? What are their hobbies? See if you can get them talking about something that they have a strong opinion about.

      See if you can do one of these every week.

      I also think you would highly benefit from Toastmasters.