My wife and I are going to a concert in a few months which is considered ‘girl pop’ and we have standing tickets. I wanted to get a look at what a show by this artist is like, so I search YouTube just to find it’s a bunch of young adult woman screaming anytime something is done like a dance move as an example, but this just isn’t me.
I have a worry that someone is going to start filming me for being ‘grumpy’ or whatever, usually I wouldn’t think this much into it, but I’m already going to be sticking out like a sore thumb and in the current year I always assume I’m in the background of someone’s video at any given moment and I don’t want my awkwardness being confused for anything else other than what it is.
Am I in over my head, or should I just not overthink it and try to enjoy myself?
It would only be weird if you went alone
If you go and decide you like it then explore other girly things too.
Fuck gender norms, do whatever sounds interesting.
You’re going with your get-out-of-jail card wife
I’m also in my 30s. I’ve been to a bunch of “girly” concerts with my wife and have had a great time at all of them.
It’s much easier to enjoy life when you let go of notions of what you should or should not be enjoying. Music doesn’t need to be gendered. You can just enjoy it for what it is.
In fact, I’d extend the idea to countless other facets of life: there’s so much pointless gendering in society that does a huge disservice to everyone, men included. I’ll give you a dumb example: I used to hold the notion in my younger years that if I were given a purse to hold, that I had to hold the purse in such a way to telegraph that it wasn’t actually my purse. Like grasp it like some kind of ape man or something. Like… What is the fucking point in that? It’s so goddamn dumb and childish. Now I often take turns holding my wife’s purse (it can be a bit heavy because it also doubles as a diaper bag for our toddler) and don’t give a single fuck about doing so.
I can give you countless other examples where I was raised with incredibly damaging ideas ultimately stemming from toxic masculinity that I have painstakingly excised from my psyche.
One of my favorite things about getting older is that I give less of a shit about anyone else’s opinion, every year. When you’re 40, you’re gonna laugh at how worked up you got about this.
You’re going with your wife. She’s your human Teflon.
As a single adult man any space not specifically targeted to you will draw heat and dirty looks. With a wife and/or kids to hide behind the world is yours for the taking.
I just reached my mid-40s, and at the same time, I realized that I have been overthinking everything. Nobody cares, and those that do, you shouldn’t care about. Too many missed opportunities because I thought it worried too much and did too little. I think my new outlook may have been influenced by the ever increasing deaths of people around me. Time keeps speeding up, I’ll be dead soon. So will everyone. Do whatever you want, be nice to people, it’ll all be over too soon.
They would never film you if they think you’re grumpy, because they’re hired by the venue, the labels and artists, and it would be considered bad PR for them.
The cameras ususually only catch the front rows anyways, and the concert is way different and more relaxed when you arent in the mosh pit.
You’re also going there to enjoy it, in contrast to the parents that just go there because of their children, that will likely look way more grumpy than you.
I have a friend that flew from Vancouver to Toronto to see Black Pink… alone … as a 30ish white man. You should be fine
I have a worry that someone is going to start filming me for being ‘grumpy’ or whatever
Embrace your future memetic fame
Guy over 30 here. I went to a PVRIS concert recently, and apparently the singer is a LGBT icon. Also the opener was Scene Queen. I definitely didn’t fit into the demographic, but I didn’t feel like I was sticking out either.
It was an awesome concert. IMO you’re overthinking it. Just have fun.
and apparently the singer is a LGBT icon.
Anyone who sees this and doesn’t immediately go “oh they’re gay as fuck” needs to replace the batteries in their gaydar:
Oh, new batteries won’t help. Mine is completely busted.
Own it or stay home. By owning it, I mean just enjoy yourself & I guarantee all is good. I can’t say the same about the demographics of the fan base. People are people and just do your best, don’t assume anything , be kind & direct when speaking & just present the best you.
You are overthinking it. No one cares. Just do what you have to do.
The people who judge will be out of sight in a few hours but the regret of not going will be with you till you die.
Enjoy the show. In the last two years, I was at 2 shows where a male companion and me were the oldest. And one show we were only beaten by boring parents which waited in the bar area instead of listening to a great show (imagine grumpy older Gen X being on their phones the entire time). It felt weird at first. Teens and young adults all around me. Every teen had so much swag and I needed Vexillology lesson because there were so many queer flags and didn’t know existed. The shows were nice (Tessa Violet and Cavetown) and I had a great time. Everything was calm, the bar always free, I guess because money is a lot tighter when you are young. If people notice you they’ll think you are a cool dude cause you enjoy good music.
Upvoted for the Vexillology reference.
But yeah, OP, just enjoy the show. Most of the attendants are going to be way too focused on the show, their friends, and themselves to care that some rando isn’t bopping along with them.
Be aware of the venue and how crowded it could be. I’ve been to plenty of metal shows in my youth and been waaay to close the speakers. Surprisingly, what fucked my ears worse than anything was when I got invited by a girl friend to see the band “Live” (known for the song “The Dolphin’s Cry”) at a standing room venue. I was only like 20 but still being packed in tight among countless shrieking girls/young women gave me tinnitus for a week and my hearing has never been the same since.
Really though, don’t worry about how you are perceived. Just have fun, but maybe bring ear plugs just in case. Hell, I likely should have worn earplugs for most of my concerts regardless.
