The more I hear people talk about it who aren’t cis-het men, the more I hear criticism about the concept. But so far, I’ve only heard people say that it’s stupid, that it’s not a thing, that it’s men’s own fault etc. But I’ve yet to understand where that criticism comes from. I don’t want to start a discussion on whether or not it’s real or not. I just want to understand where the critics are coming from.
I think a lot of it comes from the fact that in incel spaces, it’s a lot of grievance and blame by men who were raised believing the world owed them certain things. And now they’re finding out that it’s really hard so rather than look inward at how they can be better and work within the circumstances they’re in, they blame wokeism and women’s empowerment for denying them their entitlement.
Dark Brandon on youtube has been doing an awesome series on incels that’s definitely worth watching. I recommend this video not just for anyone interested in incel culture, but literally anyone interested in WTF has happened to the world in the last 40 years - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OBAX4Wi1iNM&list=WL&index=16
Imo the whole incel thing is a symptom, not the cause. Many men feel lonely, lost, and useless in today’s society. Without a proper support network and raised to hide away our emotions, many of us don’t have the proper tools to tackle this monster. Then, conveniently, there are these people who tell you that none of it is your fault. That it’s not you who needs to change or improve yourself, but society that went wrong. That it’s the “woke people” who paint you as a villain, that it’s the women who deny you the “right” to a relationship .
Many men are looking for answers. And the whole incel alt-right pipeline gives easy answers. It blames everyone else. And when you’re already in a dark place, tired and lost, it can be hard to resist. Not that I want to excuse incels in any way, they’re dangerous and we have every right to vilify them. But imo they’re not the cause, just a symptom of the broader issue. And to prevent more incels from appearing, I think it’s time they men’s mental health is taken a bit more seriously. Society needs to adapt, starting from how boys are raised.
You’ve put the carriage before the horse. Incels become incels because they’re lonely/can’t speak to girls/etc. They blame the girls for this rather than try to understand why girls ignore/avoid them, usually because they are the stereotypical incel.
Also the “incel-to-trans pipeline” has too much smoke to not be a fire. It’s a “legit” path for many deluded incels.