I’m often disappointed with myself when I’m angry. It feels like, “a stronger person wouldn’t be mad at this” or “I’m fragile/insecure”. Anger has been the hardest emotion to live with; it just feels wrong.
I always need external validation from others during/after anger. And worse, I need an endless supply of it.
Learning to validate myself is the obvious solution but I don’t have a clue where to start. A self-help book would just sit on a shelf. Do you have any tips?
Lookup internal family systems (a good book would be “No Bad Parts”). It’s like you have parts of yourself arguing and putting other parts down. It’s all parts of you trying to protect you but they maybe don’t recognize the roles each part has. Try to find out what your anger is trying to say, sometimes when the part is heard it is more manageable. The point isn’t to make the anger go away but see if it can let other parts help in whatever need it is trying to accomplish.
Came here to suggest this. I’ve been doing IFS stuff with my therapist and it’s probably the most helpful therapy I’ve ever done.
Do you think it might be simpler for them to look for the trailheads as an easier introduction to IFS?
Trailheads honestly seem to me to be the simplest path to getting into IFS and its such a practical, simple practice…
Thats what almost immediatey clicked for me, very commonsense but also not necessarily immediately intuitive if you were trying to work it out from scratch
I’m interested, who is the author? I found several books by the name
Full title:
No Bad Parts: Healing Trauma and Restoring Wholeness with the Internal Family Systems Model Book by Richard C. Schwartz
awesome, I’ll start there. thanks for the suggestion