My mom told me I should “go outside more often” so my depression can “go away”, but honestly how the fuck is that supposed to help, just one glance at the news headlines is enough to just discourage me from going outside.
(For context: we’re a non-white family of immigrants)
Like she asked me “do [I] want to just never go anywhere”, I’m like: I do, I wanna go visit Canada, I wanna travel the world, but I don’t wanna get stuck in some airport because border people are being a dick. I am a US Citizen, so to others I probably sound paranoid af since “there’s nothing to worry about” they say, but like… c’mon, I have anxiety and depression, how do I even control the emotions of fear that’s drowning me?.
My mom said since my dad isn’t a citizen and he doesn’t fear the current political atmosphere, that I’m “being a coward” for fearing this so much. And because in her mind she sees me as this coward, and therefore is discussing about leaving me out of the will and leaving me with nothing, because I’m this “coward” this “useless person” that don’t deserve to have anything. Because of depression and anxiety, she sees me the same way as people typically view mentally-challenged people. As if I’m just some hideous being. She says that if I can’t even have the courage to “go outside often and be a ‘normal’ human being”, I wouldn’t be able to handle/manage the assets/investments they have. (Small bussiness, won’t go into detail about it) Like no I have already helped her managed some of those stuff for a few years back when I was younger and didn’t have depression. I am capable of doing it, just depression is killing me. So now I’m not worthy anymore.
Is my excuse just pathetic? Like idk maybe I would’ve used another excuse in the other election timeline. But sure mom, “medications are bad”, “just go outside”, ffs my head hurts so much. This timeline definitely aint helping.
Sorry for the depression post, I don’t have anyone to talk to, so I’m just yelling into the internet void.
First, your mom is being toxic af and you are not a coward. However, she is not wrong that going outside can help with depression. It likely won’t “cure” you as it sounds like you are in a difficult situation, but it can be helpful to take short walks every day.
That being said, the ICE shit is scary af. I’m not American but I worry every single day for my family members living there. We are Mexican and the fear, IMO, is warranted, because they don’t even seem to care about legal status. I’ve been avoiding visiting for this same reason, and will not go down there until I feel it is safe to do so.
From my understanding though, they are not everywhere as much as social media makes them seem. My uncle and cousin down there (Chicago and San Diego) go about their regular days and even travel between the US and Mexico frequently and tell me they still feel safe doing so.
Even if you don’t go outside, I would highly, HIGHLY recommend disconnecting from social media for a while or limiting your intake. The difference I feel mentally when my usage goes from like 2-4 hrs down to ~30 mins or less is huge. Find another hobby like crafting or even video games if you don’t feel safe doing stuff outside yet.
Lastly, also, I said this to you a few days ago and will say it again, YOU MATTER. You are not a coward & being afraid of this insane fucking world is a reasonable response. I hope you can escape your parents house soon. You got this!