My mom told me I should “go outside more often” so my depression can “go away”, but honestly how the fuck is that supposed to help, just one glance at the news headlines is enough to just discourage me from going outside.
(For context: we’re a non-white family of immigrants)
Like she asked me “do [I] want to just never go anywhere”, I’m like: I do, I wanna go visit Canada, I wanna travel the world, but I don’t wanna get stuck in some airport because border people are being a dick. I am a US Citizen, so to others I probably sound paranoid af since “there’s nothing to worry about” they say, but like… c’mon, I have anxiety and depression, how do I even control the emotions of fear that’s drowning me?.
My mom said since my dad isn’t a citizen and he doesn’t fear the current political atmosphere, that I’m “being a coward” for fearing this so much. And because in her mind she sees me as this coward, and therefore is discussing about leaving me out of the will and leaving me with nothing, because I’m this “coward” this “useless person” that don’t deserve to have anything. Because of depression and anxiety, she sees me the same way as people typically view mentally-challenged people. As if I’m just some hideous being. She says that if I can’t even have the courage to “go outside often and be a ‘normal’ human being”, I wouldn’t be able to handle/manage the assets/investments they have. (Small bussiness, won’t go into detail about it) Like no I have already helped her managed some of those stuff for a few years back when I was younger and didn’t have depression. I am capable of doing it, just depression is killing me. So now I’m not worthy anymore.
Is my excuse just pathetic? Like idk maybe I would’ve used another excuse in the other election timeline. But sure mom, “medications are bad”, “just go outside”, ffs my head hurts so much. This timeline definitely aint helping.
Sorry for the depression post, I don’t have anyone to talk to, so I’m just yelling into the internet void.
I think it depends on where you live and what going outside means. It’s not good out there right now for minorities, but it’s worse in some locations. If you live in Portland or Chicago, then yea, for sure keep your head down. It all comes down to your risk tolerance. Not every single minority is being rounded up and deported. There are hundreds to thousands of minorities that have been abducted out of the millions that live in the US. Statistically speaking, you will probably be just fine, but there is a chance things get bad.
As a white man, my opinion does not carry much water since I obviously do not have the same problems and I know that I come from a privileged position. So take this with a grain of salt, but if you’re not in one of the hot spots, I think you need to get out and try to live your life, but keep your head on a swivel. Idk that leaving the country and trying to get back in is the best choice, but there are probably 10s of thousands of people like you that travel abroad every day.
Your mother is approaching this poorly and callously, but there is some level of truth to it. If the plan is for you to run the family business some day, then you do have to be able to take the necessary risks, like going out, to be able to do that effectively. That said, I go through bouts of depression and it is crippling, so I have empathy with your situation. It’s easy for someone not depressed to tell you to just be happy and live like normal, but that’s not reality.
With everything you’ve said, it sounds like you first and foremost need to seek help for your depression. That could be therapy, anti depressants, or a combination. Personally, I am in a much better place when I can get out and be active and exercise. So your choices come down to staying inside, do nothing, and live in your negative feedback loop, going out to seek professional help for your mental health, or going out, being mindful of your surroundings and taking on extra risk that may help you mentally. That could mean going out and walking the block in your neighborhood, or find a secluded nature trail somewhere where ICE won’t be patrolling.
All in, it’s not a black and white situation and you need to decide if you’re in a better place hiding out or if it would be better for you to do something else.