There are few parts of the law quite as fraught as succession. As the great wealth transfer gets under way, wrangling about who gets what is tearing families apart
Tricky stuff. Talk to your family about this stuff before you/they die.
That’s exactly the type of selfish and greedy attitude I’m referring to. You’re not owed anything for being a “good child”, you don’t earn an inheritance like it’s some kind of delayed job bonus. The parent brought all of you into the world without your permission, they should leave an equal amount to all upon leaving it. If people have an issue with that then it says a lot more about their ego and inflated self-worth than anything else.
Ignoring the morality of it, from a purely economical and financial perspective the cost of elder care for a couple is very expensive, usually averaging around the price of a home, or most of the inheritance. It’s basically liquidate the house now to send them to a nursing home, or ask a family member and “pay” them later with the house.
Hence the typical silent agreements that the sibling who looked after the parents before death gets the majority of the inheritance.
Silent, verbal, or even legal agreements are messy though. Talk to family members with the help of a lawyer.
If siblings are willing to come to that agreement between themselves then I think that’s fair enough. I just don’t think there should ever be default expectations about who gets more or who was the best child. That kind of thinking demonstrates underlying personality and relationship issues.
Which one has the greedy attitude if the parents decide “only one of our children gives a shit about me, the rest suck” and chooses to leave it to one child?
Are the greedy ones the other children who say “screw that, show me the money”?
Or is the greedy one the child that says “I sacrificed economically and personally to do unpaid domestic labour, now I’m getting paid back for my kindness”?
Definitely the latter. Thinking you’re getting “paid” is such a bizarre way to approach inheritance, it actually suggests you didn’t care about your parents at all. In any case, the other siblings shouldn’t have to say “show me the money” because the sibling with an unequal share of the inheritance should immediately be willing to share it regardless of what it said in the will. Keeping everything for yourself because “mummy and daddy said it’s only for me” is the way a child’s brain operates.
That’s exactly the type of selfish and greedy attitude I’m referring to. You’re not owed anything for being a “good child”, you don’t earn an inheritance like it’s some kind of delayed job bonus. The parent brought all of you into the world without your permission, they should leave an equal amount to all upon leaving it. If people have an issue with that then it says a lot more about their ego and inflated self-worth than anything else.
The one being selfish and greedy is the one saying they DESERVE inheritance simply for being born, even if they were a piece of shit to their parents.
You don’t deserve anything as an inheritance. You’re LUCKY if you get something. You’re owed nothing. People like you deserve nothing.
Ignoring the morality of it, from a purely economical and financial perspective the cost of elder care for a couple is very expensive, usually averaging around the price of a home, or most of the inheritance. It’s basically liquidate the house now to send them to a nursing home, or ask a family member and “pay” them later with the house.
Hence the typical silent agreements that the sibling who looked after the parents before death gets the majority of the inheritance.
Silent, verbal, or even legal agreements are messy though. Talk to family members with the help of a lawyer.
If siblings are willing to come to that agreement between themselves then I think that’s fair enough. I just don’t think there should ever be default expectations about who gets more or who was the best child. That kind of thinking demonstrates underlying personality and relationship issues.
Which one has the greedy attitude if the parents decide “only one of our children gives a shit about me, the rest suck” and chooses to leave it to one child?
Are the greedy ones the other children who say “screw that, show me the money”?
Or is the greedy one the child that says “I sacrificed economically and personally to do unpaid domestic labour, now I’m getting paid back for my kindness”?
That latter is a dishonest shithead for sure.
Definitely the latter. Thinking you’re getting “paid” is such a bizarre way to approach inheritance, it actually suggests you didn’t care about your parents at all. In any case, the other siblings shouldn’t have to say “show me the money” because the sibling with an unequal share of the inheritance should immediately be willing to share it regardless of what it said in the will. Keeping everything for yourself because “mummy and daddy said it’s only for me” is the way a child’s brain operates.
Respecting your parents wishes in death is the adult thing to do. Thinking you deserve an inheritance is the childish thing to do.