Tricky stuff. Talk to your family about this stuff before you/they die.
I stopped talking to my father because he didn’t pass on a portion of the inheritance like my grandparents intended. He’s a piece of shit in many ways that I was accustomed to but that broke the relationship for me.
…GOOD!
I feel like if you have a sibling like the one in the article no amount of planning is going to prevent this situation. Some people are just more greedy and selfish at a base level. Like what kind of person is left an entire house and thinks “yeah, I deserve all of this and my siblings deserve nothing”?
"Like what kind of person is left an entire house and thinks “yeah, I deserve all of this and my siblings deserve nothing”
The person that was there taking care of the parents, getting them to doctor appointments and taking time off work to provide for them while everyone else was absent physically and/or financially. Nobody else cared when they were alive, they dont get to care now that they are dead.
The person that was there taking care of the parents, getting them to doctor appointments and taking time off work to provide for them while everyone else was absent physically and/or financially. Nobody else cared when they were alive, they dont get to care now that they are dead.
What ? that’s bullshit, you’re not an employee on a deferred share scheme. If you don’t want to do the looking after, don’t.
That’s exactly the type of selfish and greedy attitude I’m referring to. You’re not owed anything for being a “good child”, you don’t earn an inheritance like it’s some kind of delayed job bonus. The parent brought all of you into the world without your permission, they should leave an equal amount to all upon leaving it. If people have an issue with that then it says a lot more about their ego and inflated self-worth than anything else.
The one being selfish and greedy is the one saying they DESERVE inheritance simply for being born, even if they were a piece of shit to their parents.
You don’t deserve anything as an inheritance. You’re LUCKY if you get something. You’re owed nothing. People like you deserve nothing.
Ignoring the morality of it, from a purely economical and financial perspective the cost of elder care for a couple is very expensive, usually averaging around the price of a home, or most of the inheritance. It’s basically liquidate the house now to send them to a nursing home, or ask a family member and “pay” them later with the house.
Hence the typical silent agreements that the sibling who looked after the parents before death gets the majority of the inheritance.
Silent, verbal, or even legal agreements are messy though. Talk to family members with the help of a lawyer.
If siblings are willing to come to that agreement between themselves then I think that’s fair enough. I just don’t think there should ever be default expectations about who gets more or who was the best child. That kind of thinking demonstrates underlying personality and relationship issues.
Which one has the greedy attitude if the parents decide “only one of our children gives a shit about me, the rest suck” and chooses to leave it to one child?
Are the greedy ones the other children who say “screw that, show me the money”?
Or is the greedy one the child that says “I sacrificed economically and personally to do unpaid domestic labour, now I’m getting paid back for my kindness”?
That latter is a dishonest shithead for sure.
Definitely the latter. Thinking you’re getting “paid” is such a bizarre way to approach inheritance, it actually suggests you didn’t care about your parents at all. In any case, the other siblings shouldn’t have to say “show me the money” because the sibling with an unequal share of the inheritance should immediately be willing to share it regardless of what it said in the will. Keeping everything for yourself because “mummy and daddy said it’s only for me” is the way a child’s brain operates.
Respecting your parents wishes in death is the adult thing to do. Thinking you deserve an inheritance is the childish thing to do.
I have one sibling and as far as she’s concerned the world owes her. “Owes her what?” You may ask? Everything. I’m not looking forward to the inheritance dispute that’s inevitable when my parents pass.
This is what wills are for. Get your parents to make one that’s iron clad so all she’d be doing is wasting her own money disputing it.
I’ve had that discussion with my mother (father passed many years ago) precisely for that reason. She said we each get 1/3, which, surprised me as I’d assumed she’d leave whatever was left to her 2 grandkids (brothers kids)
Hopefully when the time comes, my siblings and I can do an even split and everyone’s happy.
Get your parents to write an actual will.
Where things seem to get messiest is if someone gets an ‘advance’ on what they’ll receive in the will, except it’s not written into the will so there is disagreement on whether they should get a full share or not.
the will only gets so far. for example there have been cases where children of a family have completely abandoned their parent/s, and a 3rd part good samaritan came along to help said person for years before their eventual death, and the will gave the inheritance to the good Samaritan, which causes the blood children to object.
the only clearcut way is to have the parties in attendance while the will is being written so that any objections wpuld get aired out while said person is alive and can make the call
You don’t need everyone present while the will is being written though. That changes nothing. People can object all they want, but if the will is done correctly the objecting and challenging is pointless and just wastes money.
Why is it so hard for people to accept a dying persons wishes? If they want all their money to be donated to the first homeless person that walks past the closest bus stop to their house, that’s what needs to be done. No one is owed an inheritance.
Personally I’ve emailed my will to all interested parties so they have plenty of time to object.
That doesn’t change anything though. They can still challenge the will when you die.
Just make sure the will is done by the book with no reason for any challenges to succeed and you’re good.
As the article mentioned, wills are often contested. The cases they presented were all from people with wills, but the surviving parties didn’t accept what the got in the will.
If the will is done correctly then no amount of contesting matters.
That’s why a lot of wills add a clause that states anyone challenging the will automatically has their portion changed to $1.
How about nobody gets anything, we all start with a fresh slate, even playing field. LOL yeah fucking right that’ll be the day.
How about no, we let people do what they want with their money? My 2 goals in life atm and for the foreseeable future are to retire early with a nice nest egg, and to provide as best I can for my kids (and their kids) after I’m gone. I’ll be trying to leave them each a house with zero debt on it at a bare minimum.
I want my kids to be better off than I was. Every parent should want that for their kids. If the government ever tried to do a “death tax” or inheritance tax, I’d make damn sure I had nothing to my name by the time I am on my death bed, and my kids had everything.
I agree in principle that inheritances perpetuate inequality, but it’s very hard to implement. Many elderly people would “gift” their money to their children before their death to avoid an inheritance tax. They would argue it’s their money, they should be able to decide what to do with it. Either that or elderly people would try to spend it down in their final years.
People need to quit with this idea that inequality is unfair/bad/etc. You’re not owed the same wealth/assets as someone else simply for existing.
People should be able to do what they want with their money. Doesn’t matter if they earned it or were given it - it’s theirs.
Yea, I suppose what becomes of the money is the tricky part, you need to have a gov you trust in place as well, which is also tricky, because otherwise it’s likely to be stolen. Ideally it would all go to some general wellness fund or distributed to vetted charities.
No, ideally it would go to whoever/whatever the person who died left it to. It’s not the governments money.
Funny how it’s generally only the bottom feeders and people with nothing who desperately want communism. Ironically they’re also the first ones that get killed off by the leaders under communism.
