I’ve had a bit of a rough go with it in terms of being raised in a bad environment, not properly socialised properly early in life, and to top it off my partner of 7 years just ended things because of some pretty nasty issues between us that I felt were perfectly fixable.
Everything as it is, I’ve started having issues with feelings of being disposable. Like I don’t matter, like I’m nothing and I can’t expect people to stick around, like they’re waiting for a reason to abandon me.
On a logical level that doesn’t hold much water, but at this point I’m starting to wonder how to fight these feelings if they come from very factual places. How can I justify the thought that I inheritly have worth, if the reality of the situation is that I keep being treated like garbage.
I’m doing all the right stuff, seeing a psych, prioritising recover, actually have a pretty decent inner voice going, but the feelings are still really strong and it’s hard to fight them. I’m not really sure how to handle this.
Love yourself. It’s pretty easy to love yourself enough to say yes, not easy to say no to things we should. It starts with boring, mundane things. Love yourself enough to say no to the large piece of cake and yes to the banana. Love yourself enough to make yourself brush your teeth when you’re really tired and it’s just once. Enough to choose water over soda, a salad over a burger. Enough to look in the mirror and say, “I’m enough.” “I’ve got this.” “Thank you for loving me.” “Seems like you’ve got complex feelings, let’s sit with those and work through them.”