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“name five women”
Silmarillion enthusiast: “Melian, Lúthien, Galadriel, Idril, … uh… Ungoliant?”
“John you want to add some women to this? The entire first book is 9 dudes walking and taking to a bunch of other dudes.”
“I’m gonna make a whole race of TREES and they’re not even going to know where their women ARE!”
“I’m gonna make a whole race of TREES and they’re not even going to know where their women ARE!”
Is Ungoliant the giant spider? I forgot.
That’s Shelob. Which counts! We got 5!
Edit: actually nevermind, you were right. Ungoliant is also a giant spider
Specifically, Shelob’s mom, IIRC. Which means, unlike Shelob, Ungoliant’s sex actually matters to the story.
Shelob is the mother of the mirkwood spiders isn’t she? Those spiders were never identified as male or female, so I assume they don’t have any lesser children.
Points to random passing woman: – I dub thee Meredith!
Varda, Queen of the Valar, AKA Tintallë, Elbereth Gilthoniel, among other names.
The goddess Sam prayed to when he sang the hymn A Elbereth Gilthoniel to give him the courage to face Shelob.
I mean yeah, I could have come up with any of the seven Valier, or Uinen, Eärwen, Elwing, Niënor, Míriel, Aredhel, Silmariën, etc. etc., but that wouldn’t have made the joke very funny
Hide and seek world record?
Fuck the elves. Murderous bastards.
Fuck the elves. Hot horny bastards.
Dafuq you talkin about? I even spoke to one once!
Was it your mom?
That totally counts!
Did she sound single?
Stay away, homewrecker!
Only once?
*Dafuq you tolkien about?
This is how Dragonball starts
Man, remember the characters name in the silmarillion was hard,
“that guy make me feel funny inside.”
“Something wrong with that fellas chest!”
