Not sure that i do. Those seem to be completely pointless and I’m always baffled why people crave those so much. Under good circumstances, after practicing those become completely neutral, but usually those are just uncomfortable.
I can! I’m disgusted by other people touching me. I’m more like those shy cats that hide under the furniture if you try to pet them, and only come hang out next to you if you leave them alone
Understandable, yes! I lack that too though, I just don’t like to be touched nor touch others, and I do not desire it either. I do like to pet… or I guess more like poke and pat animals (though there’s specific conditions for what type of fur I will tolerate touching), but that’s about it. I can hug my dog but that’s about the extend of it. I also have problems with my own limbs touching each other or my torso which causes more issues honestly. “Touch starved” is something I simply don’t understand lmao
Until you wrote “I also have problems with my own limbs”, I thought your sensitivity could be due to the warmth of other human bodies which some people find hard to deal with, indeed. But if you also have a constant “pins and needles” feeling and cannot even stand your own touch, so to speak, you might want to look into your sodium levels. It changed things a very great deal for me. Well, that and seriously reducing my caffeine intake.
Oh no it’s not “pins and needles” it’s just disgust, I have hypersensitivity to touch in general and touching humans is basically just the worst of it for some reason. A bit like you’d step on dog shit or touch something rotting etc. I get the shivers and all that, it’s terrible. If I don’t get the unpleasant touch to stop quick enough, eventually I go crazy and will struggle like a rabid animal, since it’s so intolerable - I know because I’ve gotten to that point couple times by trying jeans on… I don’t know why or how my own limbs can trigger this shit as well, it’s just my stupid corpse being shitty I guess. I can’t do breathing exercises or mindfulness stuff either, because becoming even more aware of my body makes it so much worse
In my case it helped greatly to tell others that i have a fear of human touch even though that was not accurate at all but others understood easier and knew what to dont.
[the rest you can skip, i got carried away a bit]
Then at some point i actually developed a fear without noticing: fear of the touch consequences. In retrospect it was very stressful with all the mindfulness to track everyones movements and directional intentions.
After switching schools i could not avoid others anymore and did go into confrontation therapy (handshakes & hugs, mostly worked because i was the one innitiating/controlling) which got rid of the hyperventilating panic and switched it to something mostly neutral and dependent to person. But except my bf and close family i dont seek out touches activly because i still feel it.
I just took an NFPA 70E electrical safety course, and the instructor was talking about how electricians love to cuddle.
I thought it was weird for a sec, then I remembered the last time I opened an electrical panel with someone else nearby. Then I remembered every other time I opened an electrical panel with other people nearby. Then I remembered all the times that I was all the other people nearby.
Then he showed us a video of an arc flash with 3 people inside the panel, and then there was nobody nearby.
Everyone has different preferences, straight man here and I always want cuddles. It depends on what your “love language” is i.e. how you prefer to give/receive affection.
For me cuddles and other forms of non-sexual touch (not that I’m asexual, far from it) are my preference for giving and receiving. Acts of service, like cooking a meal etc. I’m fine with giving but it makes me feel awkward to receive. And gift giving (random flowers, chocolate, trinkets, etc.) I prefer not to do because trying to come up with a good gift stresses me out and I don’t like random gifts, I really appreciate the thought but if I don’t find a use for it, including being a decoration I like, I don’t want it.
But like you said, you find a middle ground with your partner and I do the same as well.
When I was very young, I had a friend with the AIM name “BovineLover” (followed by a number I don’t remember). They were how I learned the word “bovine.” I haven’t talked to them in almost thirty years.
I’m inclined to assume that you are they. Hopefully you’ve had a good thirty years!
Straight guys can’t say it. Not because they don’t crave them, they just can’t say that they do without social sanction. Everyone else apparently gets a pass though.
It takes a certain baseline amount of social privilege to be able to not give a shit what the haters say. When society writ large decides to hate you (as is implied by the term “social pariah”), then suddenly what people think of you actually matters a lot.
True, I get heavy insults from people just for being sick around them. I don’t mean transmissible sickness. Like, the moment you are sick and can’t hide it, they expect you to quit your job and go die somewhere.
Who among us cannot say the same?
People who are touch averse.
Not sure that i do. Those seem to be completely pointless and I’m always baffled why people crave those so much. Under good circumstances, after practicing those become completely neutral, but usually those are just uncomfortable.
I can! I’m disgusted by other people touching me. I’m more like those shy cats that hide under the furniture if you try to pet them, and only come hang out next to you if you leave them alone
(and yes it’s 'tism)
You can crave cuddles and be disgusted by other human beings at the same time.
It’s called I have a person, and only that person may touch me. And the cat. The cat too.
Understandable, yes! I lack that too though, I just don’t like to be touched nor touch others, and I do not desire it either. I do like to pet… or I guess more like poke and pat animals (though there’s specific conditions for what type of fur I will tolerate touching), but that’s about it. I can hug my dog but that’s about the extend of it. I also have problems with my own limbs touching each other or my torso which causes more issues honestly. “Touch starved” is something I simply don’t understand lmao
Until you wrote “I also have problems with my own limbs”, I thought your sensitivity could be due to the warmth of other human bodies which some people find hard to deal with, indeed. But if you also have a constant “pins and needles” feeling and cannot even stand your own touch, so to speak, you might want to look into your sodium levels. It changed things a very great deal for me. Well, that and seriously reducing my caffeine intake.
Oh no it’s not “pins and needles” it’s just disgust, I have hypersensitivity to touch in general and touching humans is basically just the worst of it for some reason. A bit like you’d step on dog shit or touch something rotting etc. I get the shivers and all that, it’s terrible. If I don’t get the unpleasant touch to stop quick enough, eventually I go crazy and will struggle like a rabid animal, since it’s so intolerable - I know because I’ve gotten to that point couple times by trying jeans on… I don’t know why or how my own limbs can trigger this shit as well, it’s just my stupid corpse being shitty I guess. I can’t do breathing exercises or mindfulness stuff either, because becoming even more aware of my body makes it so much worse
In my case it helped greatly to tell others that i have a fear of human touch even though that was not accurate at all but others understood easier and knew what to dont.
[the rest you can skip, i got carried away a bit]
Then at some point i actually developed a fear without noticing: fear of the touch consequences. In retrospect it was very stressful with all the mindfulness to track everyones movements and directional intentions.
After switching schools i could not avoid others anymore and did go into confrontation therapy (handshakes & hugs, mostly worked because i was the one innitiating/controlling) which got rid of the hyperventilating panic and switched it to something mostly neutral and dependent to person. But except my bf and close family i dont seek out touches activly because i still feel it.
I just took an NFPA 70E electrical safety course, and the instructor was talking about how electricians love to cuddle.
I thought it was weird for a sec, then I remembered the last time I opened an electrical panel with someone else nearby. Then I remembered every other time I opened an electrical panel with other people nearby. Then I remembered all the times that I was all the other people nearby.
Then he showed us a video of an arc flash with 3 people inside the panel, and then there was nobody nearby.
Arc flashes are nature’s way of saying cuddle time is over.
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Everyone has different preferences, straight man here and I always want cuddles. It depends on what your “love language” is i.e. how you prefer to give/receive affection.
For me cuddles and other forms of non-sexual touch (not that I’m asexual, far from it) are my preference for giving and receiving. Acts of service, like cooking a meal etc. I’m fine with giving but it makes me feel awkward to receive. And gift giving (random flowers, chocolate, trinkets, etc.) I prefer not to do because trying to come up with a good gift stresses me out and I don’t like random gifts, I really appreciate the thought but if I don’t find a use for it, including being a decoration I like, I don’t want it.
But like you said, you find a middle ground with your partner and I do the same as well.
I definitely crave them.
When I was very young, I had a friend with the AIM name “BovineLover” (followed by a number I don’t remember). They were how I learned the word “bovine.” I haven’t talked to them in almost thirty years.
I’m inclined to assume that you are they. Hopefully you’ve had a good thirty years!
Well I’m not even thirty, so I’m probably not him.
Straight guys can’t say it. Not because they don’t crave them, they just can’t say that they do without social sanction. Everyone else apparently gets a pass though.
I’ll say it; I crave cuddles.
Cuddles while watching TV is one of the only things that’ll pull me away from my computer.
Brave. Now say it on a de-anonymized platform and enjoy being a social pariah for the rest of your life.
I’m absolutely baffled by this comment. What makes you think this would be an even remotely controversial thing to say?
It might have something to do with the fact that I’ve personally experienced being shamed and ridiculed for saying similar things.
People like to jump to conclusions, so “I crave cuddles” quickly becomes “I demand woman flesh” in their perception.
Pffft. Grow the fuck up, find your fucking balls and fucking own it.
It only plays that way if you let it.
Having balls doesn’t stop society from ridiculing/deriding/scorning/stigmatizing/sanctioning me. Oh, if only growing a pair was all I needed to do.
As if being rejected by society is something I have control over! It takes a sociopathic narcissist to think “people can only hate me if I let them.”
It takes the aforementioned set of minerals to cease giving a flying fuck what those that have negative comment for showing your feelings have to say.
Society at large doesn’t ridicule for that, merely certain toxic subsets that should be rightfully shunned into nonexistence.
Become the change you want to see.
It takes a certain baseline amount of social privilege to be able to not give a shit what the haters say. When society writ large decides to hate you (as is implied by the term “social pariah”), then suddenly what people think of you actually matters a lot.
True, I get heavy insults from people just for being sick around them. I don’t mean transmissible sickness. Like, the moment you are sick and can’t hide it, they expect you to quit your job and go die somewhere.
Same thing applies with mental illness, including depression.
Especially depression.