My elementary school teacher told us once that Americans only poop once a week. The climate is colder in North America, so their intestines pack the poop together very densely such that they only need to poop once a week. She said you’d be sent to the doctor if you poop daily in America.
Is this true?
All this (wonderful) shit-talking and no-one has mentioned painkillers. Earlier this year I spent a couple of weeks in hospital along with a lot of other oldies with fall injuries. We were all taking oxycodone and paracetamol for the pain, and the nurses were obsessed with our bowel movements. We were given laxatives twice a day to hurry things along, and threatened with an enema if we went too long without pooing. After the laxatives worked their magic on me I started refusing to take them, because it took me so long to get across the ward to the toilet I was scared I’d shit myself halfway.
So yes, painkillers are costive.
I had to take oxy’s after hand surgery, and I am not accustomed to painkillers. I ended up constipated, and it was (BY FAR) the worst poop of my life. Like, that (literal) shit hurt worse than the pain of surgery
I’m talking 45+ mins on the toilet; pushing, sweating, almost crying, standing up and down trying to get things to move. I became a little fearful and wondered if I was about to tear my rectum. I felt like I wanted to faint. I couldn’t just stop because it was half-way out, making my bum feel like I was getting spread-open by a dragon or something… and it wouldn’t pinch off. I admittedly dug in my butt, trying to pull it out… I was in fucking shambles and beginning to panic. It felt like I was fighting for my life
It finally cleared, and I was left with pure exhaustion and butt pain. Prune juice helped me to reconcile that issue, and even though I had never tried prune juice — I’m a “forever fan” of that sweet sweet elixir of preemptive relief
I’ll never forget that poop
Cleaning you is waaay easier than disimpaction. If it’s bad enough I have to call someone who doesn’t work holidays, weekends, or any other hour a bank isn’t open. If it’s NOT bad enough to call that person, that’s actually way worse because it’s gonna be you, me, and these phalanges, and neither of us is gonna be having a good time. Now that I work in a tiny community hospital I don’t even have residents I can sucker into it anymore!
“Shhh shhhh shhhhh… you’ll feel better soon, I promise”. And they do! (Then my shift ends, and I think about my life choices)
I was never taught disimpaction in school… but when you know it’s gotta happen, it just is what it is